Man Attacked by Thousands of Lab-Grown Vaginas

NORTH CAROLINA - USA - Doctors who misplaced a box of lab-grown vaginas were in for a shock Sunday night.

Alfred Neuhart, a technician working at an experimental laboratory in North Carolina was involved in an industrial incident that could have resulted in a fatality on Sunday night.

According to the scientists working on the ground breaking project, a big box full of lab-grown vaginas which was presumed lost accidentally fell over releasing the little snappers onto the lab floor.

“You would have thought it would be every man’s dream to be attacked by thousands of vaginas, but this turned into a living nightmare for the poor fellow. Neuhart, didn’t have a chance, he slipped on one, then when he fell over, the vaginas jumped him latching on like a vice. We tried to pull a few off, but once these get a grip the muscles start rippling up and down. They even let out a strange ‘cooing’ sound as they alerted their friends they caught something,” professor Miles Feline, the project leader told the BBC.

The technician is currently recovering at a local area hospital in a semi-conscious state.

ADVERTISE ON THE DAILY SQUIB

Email advertising (at) dailysquib.co.uk for all your advertising needs.
  • SUPPORT THE DAILY SQUIB
  • We fight for freedom, justice, satire, and coffee.
  • Reader support keeps the caffeine flowing.
  • Disqus Comments Loading...
    Share
    Published by

    Recent Posts

    DEFENCELESS BRITAIN – The Practical British Prepper: A Three-Month Household Plan

    LONDON - England - Britain is defenceless and bankrupt. It is not too late if…

    1 day ago

    Why Labour is Destroying British Pubs

    LONDON - England - Labour is destroying British pubs. Across the British Isles, thousands of…

    3 days ago

    King Charles Agrees to Meghan Markle Statue at Buckingham Palace

    LONDON - England - King Charles III has agreed to a Meghan Markle statue to…

    6 days ago

    Dangerous Criminal Disappointed by Early Release Thanks to Labour

    WORMWOOD SCRUBS - England - A dangerous criminal is seriously disappointed with his early release…

    6 days ago

    Comrade Burn’em Residing at His Manchester Dacha For Holiday

    MANCHESTER - England - Comrade Burn'em has retired to his dacha up north after two…

    7 days ago

    Digital Science Launches Papers AI: an AI-Native Researcher Workspace for Writing, Data and Code

    LONDON - England - Digital Science launches Papers AI which gives researchers and students an…

    1 week ago

    This website uses cookies.