Sci/Tech

Biohacker Electrocutes His Genitals Daily

LOS ANGELES - USA - A biohacker has resorted to electrocuting his genitals as part of his supposed health treatment.

A biohacker pumps thousands of volts into his genitals on a daily basis so that he can manage to get an erection. The flaccid millionaire biohacker thinks that he will live longer by doing this as well.

Fry up

This kind of practice has been going on for decades in Iraqi and Syrian jails, and the Nazis in World War II were rather partial to a bit of goolie sparking, but now the biohacking fraternity are getting into electrocuting their genitals as the latest ball roasting craze.

“You may wonder why I also have a rather high-pitched voice? I just put 20,000 volts through my ball bag and penis, but it feels fuckin’ great, man!” another Los Angeles biohacker revealed.

The ball busting practice is now considered to be the premier treatment amongst the biohacking community. Some people have to go to great lengths to get a simple erection, good luck to them. Maybe all ANTIFA members need to do the same.

ADVERTISE ON THE DAILY SQUIB

Email advertising (at) dailysquib.co.uk for all your advertising needs.
  • SUPPORT THE DAILY SQUIB
  • We fight for freedom, justice, satire, and coffee.
  • Disqus Comments Loading...
    Share
    Published by
    Tags: biohackers

    Recent Posts

    “I WILL CARRY ON! CHAOS! I WILL CARRY ON! CHAOS! CHAOSSSSS!”

    PLANET SCUNTHORPE - KEIR DAVROS HAS MADE A DEFIANT SPEECH IN DEFENCE OF HIS RULE.

    18 hours ago

    Artificial Intelligence Emerging as a Key Competitive Advantage in Cybersecurity, New Report Finds

    GENEVA - Switzerland - Artificial intelligence is transforming the cybersecurity landscape at an unprecedented pace…

    3 days ago

    Comical Starmer Reassures Labour Party After Election Drubbing

    SCUNTHORPE - England - Comical Starmer has reassured Labour Party members that everything is okay…

    4 days ago

    LOCAL ELECTION RESULTS: “Comrades, everything is okay. Nothing has changed!”

    SCUNTHORPE - England - Comrade Starmer is defiant despite massive Labour Party losses with the…

    5 days ago

    VOTE LABOUR: “Comrades, today I am ordering you to vote for Labour”

    SCUNTHORPE - England - Supreme Comrade Starmer is ordering all citizens of the People's Republic…

    6 days ago

    We’re Giving Away 1,000 FREE Tickets on an EXCLUSIVE Hantavirus Cruise

    SOUTHAMPTON - England - The Daily Squib is giving away 1,000 free tickets on an…

    1 week ago

    This website uses cookies.