Scientists 'Hacking' into Brain of Britney Spears

LOS ANGELES - USA - Spears, 30, has been working with scientists at Stanford University who are developing a brain scanner - a tool which picks up brain waves and communicates them via a computer.

“We are searching for brain activity. It is quite hard to do with this subject. Britney’s eyes keep rolling back and she has a wild look in her eye. Scared the shit out of me yesterday,” professor Ernest B. Saunders, at Stanford revealed.

The pop singer, who has an IQ of 47, currently uses hand gestures and grunts to communicate.

“We’d like to find a way to bypass her body, pretty much hack her brain,” said Prof Saunders.

Researchers will unveil their latest results at a conference in Cambridge next month, and may demonstrate the technology on Spears or even British glamour model, Katie Price.

“We could have the dumbfuck Spears on one side and that bloated fake football titted orange moron Price on the other side of the room. We can link their brainwaves together and see if they can communicate with each other. I propose on leaving them in a room like that for the next thirty years,” Professor Saunders told New Scientist magazine.

ADVERTISE ON THE DAILY SQUIB

Email advertising (at) dailysquib.co.uk for all your advertising needs.
  • SUPPORT THE DAILY SQUIB
  • We fight for freedom, justice, satire, and coffee.
  • Disqus Comments Loading...
    Share
    Published by
    Tags: celebrity

    Recent Posts

    50+ Investable Opportunities Found in a New Analysis Providing Economic Gains

    GENEVA - Switzerland - The World Economic Forum has identified over 50 investable opportunities offering…

    1 day ago

    Strait of Hormuz: Shame on Many Coward NATO Members

    LONDON - England - Multiple members of NATO have displayed their profound cowardice and shame…

    2 days ago

    Shia Islamic Iran Willing to Take Down Globe For the Twelfth Imam

    TEHRAN - Iran - The Shia Islamic Iranian Republic is awaiting the Twelfth Imam to…

    4 days ago

    Iranian Regime Now Releasing AI-Generated Disinformation of Captured US Soldiers

    LONDON - England - The U.S. Intelligence community needs to stamp down on the mass…

    7 days ago

    The Have-Nots Don’t Have Anything to Lose – But You Do!

    LOS ANGELES - USA - There are millions and millions of have-nots who don't have…

    1 week ago

    TRUMP: Kill One Ayatollah – Get Another One Free

    TEHRAN - Iran - President Trump sure got the deal of the century when he…

    1 week ago

    This website uses cookies.