Scientists 'Hacking' into Brain of Britney Spears

“We are searching for brain activity. It is quite hard to do with this subject. Britney’s eyes keep rolling back and she has a wild look in her eye. Scared the shit out of me yesterday,” professor Ernest B. Saunders, at Stanford revealed.

The pop singer, who has an IQ of 47, currently uses hand gestures and grunts to communicate.

“We’d like to find a way to bypass her body, pretty much hack her brain,” said Prof Saunders.

Researchers will unveil their latest results at a conference in Cambridge next month, and may demonstrate the technology on Spears or even British glamour model, Katie Price.

“We could have the dumbfuck Spears on one side and that bloated fake football titted orange moron Price on the other side of the room. We can link their brainwaves together and see if they can communicate with each other. I propose on leaving them in a room like that for the next thirty years,” Professor Saunders told New Scientist magazine.