Scottish Voice Recognition Software May Take Years to Develop

CUPERTINO - USA - The Siri voice recognition system may take another ten years of development before perfecting a Scottish version, Apple insiders have revealed.

Whilst the Siri voice recognition software has been working wonders for most of the English speaking world, the poor Scots have been left out.

“It’s like trying to decipher a hidden code, we never knew it would be so hard,” a source on the project said.

Apple has flown over hundreds of Scottish speaking people to California to try and figure out what they’re saying.

“It’s very hard for us to understand what these people are saying and we are recruiting speech scientists to try and decipher the language,” Ron Albright, one of the programmers on the project revealed.

A frustrated Scot said: “Ah woods loch thes wee siri telephain tae kin whit aam bludy weel sayin. Ya Bas!”

The current project should take ten years to complete if there are no major setbacks.

Apple wants to then work out what Geordie people are saying, but that’s another twenty years of research.

ADVERTISE ON THE DAILY SQUIB

Email advertising (at) dailysquib.co.uk for all your advertising needs.
  • SUPPORT THE DAILY SQUIB
  • We fight for freedom, justice, satire, and coffee.
  • Reader support keeps the caffeine flowing.
  • Disqus Comments Loading...
    Share
    Published by

    Recent Posts

    LAMMY: Mandem to be Released Early

    LONDON - England - Labour Justice Secretary David Lammy is to release up to 6,000…

    22 hours ago

    15th Five-Year Plan: What China’s Development Means to the World

    DALIAN - China - The World Economic Forum meeting is upbeat about China’s 15th Five-Year…

    1 day ago

    When Mother Earth Speaks Humans Still Do Not Listen

    CARACAS - Venezuela - A 7.5 magnitude earthquake is a small reminder that humans are…

    2 days ago

    Unelected Comrade Burnham Ushering New Era of Communism

    MANCHESTER - England - Unelected Comrade Burnham has destroyed the last vestiges of democracy as…

    4 days ago

    People’s Republic of Soviet Britain Urgent Bulletin Regarding Comrade Starmer

    MANCHESTER - England - Good news comrades. Comrade Starmer has been apprehended and made into…

    5 days ago

    “Comrades, they are coming for me on Monday! This is it!”

    UNDISCLOSED LOCATION - Comrade Starmer has revealed in a communique that a dastardly coup is…

    6 days ago

    This website uses cookies.