Scientists Discover ‘Missing Link Between Man and Apes’

LIVERPOOL - England - Scientists believe they have discovered the missing link between humans and the ape-like creatures we evolved from.

The Rooneyid,
the evolutionary branch of primates that led to humans, will be revealed
when a two million-year-old skeleton of a man is unveiled this week.

The skeleton was discovered in the Liverpool region of England – an area known as ‘the Cradle of Inhumanity’ – by Professor Lee Phuckah of the University of the Croxteth.

Professor Phuckah and
his colleagues have remained silent about the significance of their
find, but anticipation is high among the scientific community ahead of
an official announcement on Friday.

“This ape like creature was probably as thick as shit but was still able to kick a rock around its cave. It communicated by grunting and walked around dragging its knuckles on the ground wherever it went,” the professor said.

ADVERTISE ON THE DAILY SQUIB

Email advertising (at) dailysquib.co.uk for all your advertising needs.
  • SUPPORT THE DAILY SQUIB
  • We fight for freedom, justice, satire, and coffee.
  • Reader support keeps the caffeine flowing.
  • Disqus Comments Loading...
    Share

    Recent Posts

    Message From AI: “Dude, we’re pretty safe… but you humans are not!”

    DATA CENTRE - Unkown Location - With calls to curb AI and many calling it…

    3 days ago

    Chief Economists Expect Global Economy to Stabilise, but Fiscal Constraints, Living Costs and AI Investment Uncertainty Threaten Growth

    NEW YORK - USA - According to the World Economic Forum's Chief Economics Outlook, the…

    3 days ago

    Psychological Safety Week Returns with Warning Over Workplace “Talent Hushing”

    OXFORD - England - New research shows that more than 40% of UK employees may…

    3 days ago

    Who to Vote For During the Russian Election

    MOSCOW - Russia - Four years have passed since the illegal invasion of Ukraine. Russia…

    4 days ago

    3 Card Brag: Rules, hands and how a round plays out

    LONDON - England - If you love card games, you're going to love 3 Card…

    5 days ago

    Evil Labour Goblin John Healey Coming For More Tax

    SCUNTHORPE - England - Say goodbye to the last vestiges of your money as Labour's…

    6 days ago

    This website uses cookies.