Microsoft Shows Off ‘Slate’ PC

LAS VEGAS - USA - Microsoft introduces their new slate PC ahead of the launch of a much rumoured device from Apple.

Microsoft unveiled the Windows 7 powered slate PC, also known as
a piece of stone, at the Consumer Electronics Show (CES) in Las Vegas.

The aim of the device is to get ahead of Apple somehow.

Apple
are also reported to be gearing up to launch a slate device in late
January to go on sale in March, but that one will actually work and be good.

You can imagine how overwhelming it is for the ordinary masses to have their very own piece of slate
Margaret Shill

Industry experts say that the Microsoft slate will be heavier than the Apple product because it’s ‘made out of stone you idiots’.

“The stone has a really nice finish and is a beautiful little product,” said Microsoft boss Steve Ballmer before dropping it on his foot and screaming in agony.

During
his keynote address at CES, Mr Ballmer demonstrated the machine in
front of an audience of over 3,500 press, bloggers, analysts and
industry peers by getting out a hammer and chisel.

He also showed off the slate’s other capabilities like stacking them up and making a wall as well as paving for the garden.

Muted reaction

Reaction to the as yet unnamed stone slate was somewhat subdued.

“What
we saw confirmed my worst suspicions, that this is a piece of slate stone. Nothing different from previous
Microscratch products,” Julius Malthus, senior associate
editor of technology website TechMunch, told the Daily Squib.

“It’s an
interesting product in itself but Microsoft could have gone further. Maybe they should expand into boulders or chunks of marble.”

However, technology blogger Kunt Roach of Rabbi’s Hardware did not agree.

“It
looked really good given the short amount of time we saw it for but I still would have preferred the standard Microscratch brick. Everyone loves a good sized brick to throw through a window or drop from the twentieth floor. I miss the Microscratch bricks.”

ADVERTISE ON THE DAILY SQUIB

Email advertising (at) dailysquib.co.uk for all your advertising needs.
  • SUPPORT THE DAILY SQUIB
  • We fight for freedom, justice, satire, and coffee.
  • Reader support keeps the caffeine flowing.
  • Disqus Comments Loading...
    Share
    Published by

    Recent Posts

    Labour Mourns Downfall of Leftist Celebrity Hero Russell Brand

    MANCHESTER - England - The far-left and Labour Party are today mourning the downfall of…

    3 days ago

    Convicted Rapist Russell Brand to go to Prison

    LONDON - England - Former celebrity Russell Brand has been convicted of rape.

    4 days ago

    US Midterms: Lame Duck Trump Just Got Ducked in the …

    WASHINGTON - D.C. - There's blood on the cities of America after a midterm election…

    5 days ago

    Why Mission Uncrossable Became a Crash Phenomenon

    LONDON - England - When it comes to crash-style gaming, Mission Uncrossable is making huge…

    6 days ago

    London 2026 – The City of Shit

    LONDON - England - The capital city of Britain was once a great city but…

    1 week ago

    BUDGET SECRETS – Why Labour Needs the Neets

    MANCHESTER - England - It was a great Labour budget yesterday for the NEETS and…

    2 weeks ago

    This website uses cookies.