Oil Found in UK – US to Invade Next Week

LONDON - England - Vast reserves of oil have been discovered in London close to the Queen's palace. On hearing of the wonderful news, George W Bush despatched an invasion force.

America invades Britain and liberates their people at last

Addressing
congress from a televised conference recorded in the Oval room, George
W Bush described the imminent threat posed by England’s weapons of
mass destruction.

“Intelligence gathered by this and other
governments leaves no doubt that the English regime continues to
possess and conceal some of the most lethal weapons ever devised,” Mr
Bush said in his speech.

The US president also stated that British Prime Minister, Gordon Brown, was trying to build nuclear missiles that could hit Washington in 45 minutes.

“We know for a fact that there are weapons
there. Britain has chemical, nuclear and biological weapons, Brown has continued to produce them, he has existing and active military
plans for the use of chemical and biological weapons, which could be
activated within 45 minutes against Washington,”

There
are also purported to be tonnes of yellowcake uranium under the Queen’s
palace situated 5 km west of London as well as multiple mobile missile
launching sites manned by Al Qaeda members dotted around the capital.

Vice President, Dick Cheney added: “Simply stated, there is no doubt that Gordon Brown now has weapons of mass destruction.”

‘Shock and Awe’

“Gordon Brown poses an immediate threat to the United States of America. I
have ordered our forces to strike decisively and with great precision.
We will eliminate the imminent threat to our country and return the oil
reserves to their rightful owner — the USA.”

The president’s
speech was received with rapturous applause and cheer from the
assembled Fox News crew in the White House oval office. Fox news
anchor, Bill O’Reilly was seen to wet his spandex trousers with delight
at the news of another war.

‘Liberation’

The British oil find is said to be approximately three trillion barrels
worth and would supply the US with enough oil until the end of August of this year.

“If we invade by next week we can be drilling and pumping the oil by week two,” a Halliburton employee told Fox news.

The
people of Britain who have suffered for many years are said to be
happy that the US has finally come round to invading them and getting
rid of the vile dictator Brown.