Michael Jackson to Undergo Surgery to Reverse Whiteness

In a statement today released through his spokesman, Edmund Rancheros, Michael Jackson has announced that he wants to get “back to black” and will undergo major surgery to try and undo all the surgery he had done after the Thriller album.

Michael Jackson who has been following the Obama campaign very closely has finally admitted to close friends that he is ashamed of what he has done over the years by trying to change his appearance so radically to be white. He has said that he wants to get back to his roots and his blackness to be “black and proud”.

It was after the mega-selling Thriller album that Jackson acquired a penchant for radical cosmetic surgical procedures and buggery of little boys.

The result of many years of major surgery, his face now looks like a piece of chewed mutton or veal and what is left of the cartilage in his nose hangs precariously from the few sinews left.

Renowned Beverly Hills cosmetic surgeon Dr. Joshua Lieber has been chosen for an undisclosed sum to undertake the massive task of restoring Jackson to his former self as a black man.

“I am very honoured to be working with Michael Jackson. I am a great fan of his music as are my children. The operation to restore Mr Jackson’s face to its previous incarnation after the thousands of surgeries he has undergone in the past to get to the horrific level of mess he is in now will be very hard and will take over two years. I am very confident of restoring his face to its former self and will be using ground breaking laser surgery to achieve the goal. Michael’s wish is my command.”

The surgical reversal technique is a heavily guarded secret. However, there are whispers that parts of Jackson’s old face may have been preserved and stored away for many years. Jackson’s original nose and ears as well as eyeballs may have been cryogenically frozen during the eighties in a Santa Barbara facility.

Jackson reportedly is $400 million in debt and it has not been apparent how he will pay for the major restorative surgery. There have been rumours of a planned residency in Las Vegas which would pay for the surgery.

“Michael has this notion that if he looks like he used to look during the Thriller period when he was still a bona fide black man, he can turn back the clocks and restore his fortune and destiny as well,” Edmund Rancheros told Ebony magazine last week.

Michael Jackson was not available personally to make a statement because he was off to Tampa with the kids on holiday.