Man Gets Obola in USA

WASHINGTON D.C. - USA - The patient, who came from Africa according to health officials, has been in isolation at the White House Oval room since at least 2008.

 

CDC officials said the man did not enter the country with any papers, identification or even a social security number.

“This man is of no fixed abode and may have infected millions with Obola. It’s a disease that has no known cure, and is infectious to Democrats and zombies alike,” a senior CDC official revealed Monday.

The announcement comes only days after a top German virologist revealed that five million people would die in Obola-infected nations within Africa not including those who travel to the USA to infect others through the open borders.

Speaking on Fox news, Bill O’Reilly said: “I nearly got Obola, but good thing I’m a Republican. Last I heard the whole MSBNC crew have contracted Obola and ain’t that a crying shame.”

Just this week, the CDC began advising funeral homes on how to handle the remains of Obola victims while simultaneously attempting to downplay the threat.

The U.S. State Department ordered 160,000 Hazmat suits, dark eye shades, ear muffs, specifically for Obola earlier this month.

“If you see Obola on the TV or internets, please switch off immediately, either that get to your nearest Obolacare center for quarantine,” Dr. Ralph Greenbaum, told ABC news.

ADVERTISE ON THE DAILY SQUIB

Email advertising (at) dailysquib.co.uk for all your advertising needs.
  • SUPPORT THE DAILY SQUIB
  • We fight for freedom, justice, satire, and coffee.
  • Reader support keeps the caffeine flowing.
  • Disqus Comments Loading...
    Share
    Published by
    Tags: us

    Recent Posts

    Bo Selecta! Russell Brand Gets 10 Years Possibly at Monster Mansion

    LONDON - England - Russell Brand has been sentenced by the Crown Court to 10…

    5 hours ago

    Nvidia’s Huang Put His Wang in a Huang

    SILICON VALLEY - USA - Nvidia shares have fallen sharply after the CEO Jensen Huang…

    6 hours ago

    Labour Mourns Downfall of Leftist Celebrity Hero Russell Brand

    MANCHESTER - England - The far-left and Labour Party are today mourning the downfall of…

    4 days ago

    Convicted Rapist Russell Brand to go to Prison

    LONDON - England - Former celebrity Russell Brand has been convicted of rape.

    4 days ago

    US Midterms: Lame Duck Trump Just Got Ducked in the …

    WASHINGTON - D.C. - There's blood on the cities of America after a midterm election…

    5 days ago

    Why Mission Uncrossable Became a Crash Phenomenon

    LONDON - England - When it comes to crash-style gaming, Mission Uncrossable is making huge…

    6 days ago

    This website uses cookies.