EU Ban on Powerful Vacuum Cleaners Impacting on Perverts

LEEDS - England - The new EU ban on powerful vacuum cleaners is not just garnering the wrath of British housewives according to news reports, Britain's perverts are in a tiff as well.

Full scale riots and protests have erupted in some department stores over the new EU ban on powerful vacuum cleaners, the BBC reports.

A man who wished to remain anonymous but was filmed rioting in a BHS store in Leicester said: “We need these powerful vacuum cleaners. What business is it of the EU’s to restrict our enjoyment. The vacuum cleaners available now are just not up to the job.”

NHS staff were however said to be relieved by the new EU restrictions on vacuum cleaners.

“We get them in here regularly with vacuum cleaners stuck to their privates. It’s using up valuable NHS time and money trying to get these machines off their bodies,” one doctor revealed yesterday.

Meanwhile in Westminster, politicians were strangely quiet about the whole sordid affair.

Daily Squib Book

DAILY SQUIB BOOK The Perfect Gift or can also be used as a doorstop. Grab a piece of internet political satire history encapsulating 15 years of satirical works. The Daily Squib Anthology REVIEWS: "The author sweats satire from every pore" | "Overall, I was surprised at the wit and inventedness of the Daily Squib Compendium. It's funny, laugh out loud funny" | "Would definitely recommend 10/10" | "This anthology serves up the choicest cuts from a 15-year reign at the top table of Internet lampoonery" | "Every time I pick it up I see something different which is a rarity in any book"
Disqus Comments Loading...
Share
Published by
Tags: euuk

Recent Posts

ANALYSIS: Was Prince Harry Making a Statement in Latest Address?

MONTECITO - USA - Prince Harry made a new appearance wearing military medals on his…

2 days ago

Triggered Woke People and Eco Zealots Encouraged to Choose Euthanasia

SCUNTHORPE - England - A Labour think tank details its proposals for the government to…

3 days ago

Rat Sadiq Khan Set to Win Again as Mayor of London

LONDON - England - The vile reign of rat Sadiq Khan as Mayor of London…

3 days ago

MI5 20 Years Too Late On Chinese Espionage at UK Universities?

OXFORD - England - The MI5 have finally got round to warning UK universities of…

3 days ago

Meghan Markle Sends Pint of Milk to 50 Celebrities

MONTECITO - USA - Meghan Markle has been busy milking and sending pints of the…

4 days ago

Illegal Migrant: “I want to go to Rwanda”

CALAIS - France - It seems that for many illegal migrants, being sent to Rwanda…

5 days ago

This website uses cookies.