Intimate TSA Agents May Get Ebola First

NEWARK - USA - Intimate body searches at airports across the United States could mean that TSA agents contract the deadly Ebola virus first.

As the cocky TSA agent tells the man to bend over from West Africa and pats his crotch down, a bead of sweat falls onto his gloved hand. With a gestation period of 21 days little does the TSA agent know that when he has an itch in his eye three minutes later, he’s rubbing Ebola virus into his eye.

TSA agents are on the front line, fondling, stroking people’s private parts during invasive searches daily.

“It’s not just the TSA agents who are at risk, they don’t change their gloves after each invasive search, they use the same pair of gloves all day, therefore any viral pathogens present on a gloved hand stay there and are spread from person to person. One person can therefore infect thousands in a day,” Dr. Lucius Trimble, from the Washington Virus Research Institute told MSNBC.

 

ADVERTISE ON THE DAILY SQUIB

Email advertising (at) dailysquib.co.uk for all your advertising needs.
  • SUPPORT THE DAILY SQUIB
  • We fight for freedom, justice, satire, and coffee.
  • Reader support keeps the caffeine flowing.
  • Disqus Comments Loading...
    Share
    Published by
    Tags: ebolatsaus

    Recent Posts

    Message From AI: “Dude, we’re pretty safe… but you humans are not!”

    DATA CENTRE - Unkown Location - With calls to curb AI and many calling it…

    3 days ago

    Chief Economists Expect Global Economy to Stabilise, but Fiscal Constraints, Living Costs and AI Investment Uncertainty Threaten Growth

    NEW YORK - USA - According to the World Economic Forum's Chief Economics Outlook, the…

    3 days ago

    Psychological Safety Week Returns with Warning Over Workplace “Talent Hushing”

    OXFORD - England - New research shows that more than 40% of UK employees may…

    3 days ago

    Who to Vote For During the Russian Election

    MOSCOW - Russia - Four years have passed since the illegal invasion of Ukraine. Russia…

    4 days ago

    3 Card Brag: Rules, hands and how a round plays out

    LONDON - England - If you love card games, you're going to love 3 Card…

    5 days ago

    Evil Labour Goblin John Healey Coming For More Tax

    SCUNTHORPE - England - Say goodbye to the last vestiges of your money as Labour's…

    6 days ago

    This website uses cookies.