Health

Obese Giraffes Causing Trouble in Africa

SERENGETI - Tanzania - Obese giraffes in the Serengeti National Park have been put on slimming diets by park rangers local Tanzanian news services are reporting.

“These giraffes are not only a danger to other animals and humans but themselves as well. We had one obese giraffe sit down and accidentally crush a sleeping pride of lions, and one obese giraffe mother nearly squashed her new born baby. We have put them on special diet shakes so they can lose some of their weight,” park ranger, Blik Rosenthall, told the Serengeti Gazette.

The myriad of problems created by obese giraffes are a cause for concern for park staff, who believe that safari goers are the ones fuelling the fatty giraffes.

Another park ranger revealed: “We get these mainly American safari visitors giving them Twinkies and hamburgers. We try to tell them to stop but it is very hard to regulate. It’s not just what they eat in one end, but what comes out the other end is usually bigger than an elephant poo.”

In total there are approximately 43 obese giraffes now ambling slowly around the protected safari park, and vets are determined to bring the number of fatties down.

Chief veterinarian, Dr. Janice Bartends, who has adopted the obesity fight says: “We need to get them back to eating twigs and leaves. Some of our giraffes now weigh over 850 lbs, that’s close to half a tonne. We cannot have this going on anymore.”

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