Gwyneth Paltrow: “I Like to Steam My Brussels Sprout”

LOS ANGELES - USA - Hollywood macrobiotic darling, Gwyneth Paltrow, has described in lurid detail how she steams her Brussels sprout every day.

The Gwyneth Paltrow kitchen is a pink temple to clean living and Hollywood celebrity fads. The actress’ many mesmerised followers always want more from her.

Speaking from the Soggy Box cafe in Santa Monica, the actress gave an account to lifestyle show, Flange, how her daily regimen is good for her health and well being: “There’s nothing like steaming. Ya know, I was looking through my warm glove box and was chuffed to find a cute little euphemistic recipe book there about steaming. I’m allowed one Brussels sprout a day so I got home and got my steamer out. A piece of wet lettuce, moist, crunchy right next to it on a plate, it was a paradise slice in a lady garden of dripping pink heaven. There were no badly packed kebabs or greasy meat curtains here stinking up the joint, just good ol’ wholesome steamed snug sprouts. That reminds me, I must have my vagina steam cleaned so it’s nice and tight.”

Next week, Paltrow will discuss how she consciously uncoupled herself from the temptations of a burrito.

Daily Squib Book

DAILY SQUIB BOOK The Perfect Gift or can also be used as a doorstop. Grab a piece of internet political satire history encapsulating 15 years of satirical works. The Daily Squib Anthology REVIEWS: "The author sweats satire from every pore" | "Overall, I was surprised at the wit and inventedness of the Daily Squib Compendium. It's funny, laugh out loud funny" | "Would definitely recommend 10/10" | "This anthology serves up the choicest cuts from a 15-year reign at the top table of Internet lampoonery" | "Every time I pick it up I see something different which is a rarity in any book"
Disqus Comments Loading...
Share
Published by

Recent Posts

Russia, China and Iran Behind Pro-Palestine Pro-Hamas Protests

LOS ANGELES - USA - The West's enemies, Russia, China and Iran are also behind…

3 hours ago

The Paradox of Socialists Championing Terrorist Group Hamas

LONDON - England - There is an ultimate paradox to the socialists and assorted Marxist…

7 hours ago

“Biological Sex is a Fact” – NHS SHOCKER!

LONDON - England - The NHS has released shock news that biological sex is a…

1 day ago

Who Gave the EU the Right to Dictate its Totalitarian Rules on the Internet?

BRUSSELS - Belgium - The EU has ruined the internet with its myriad of totalitarian…

2 days ago

Beyond Satire: Home Office Can’t Find Rwanda Migrants

DOVER - England - According to reports, the Home Office can't find thousands of Rwanda…

2 days ago

Experts: General AI Will Soon be Integrated Into Everything

LONDON - England - General AI is on the verge of being introduced into all…

3 days ago

This website uses cookies.