Nigella Accepted For Cookery Show in Colombia

“Screw America, if they won’t have me, I’m sure others will,” Nigella Lawson said through gritted teeth on her third trip back from Heathrow.

Her desperation to go to America and make it big in the land of the free, has been thwarted by some dastardly underhand dealing which refused her entry into the USA on a mere technicality.

Nigella’s agent, Manny Escobar, revealed some interesting details in this week’s edition of Entertainment Weekly.

“Lissen mang, we gotta g-o-o-o-d deal comin’ through in July. Porto! The yeyo is prime time, and Nigella is gonna be doin’ the cookin’. The best Colombian cookery show you evah seen, at least 4 ks uncut. Fuck United States! And fuck the fucking immigration! Fuck them all! I bury those cockroaches. What they ever do for us?”