Summer Holiday Offers: Two Week Stay at Ebola Hotel All Inclusive

GUINEA - Africa - Our special summer holiday giveaway at the Ebola hotel is sure to make your mouth and eyes water.

The Daily Squib is offering a two week all-inclusive package holiday at the Ebola Hotel for our lucky summer holiday competition winners.

Here’s your chance to win a once in a lifetime, all-inclusive trip for a lucky competition winner to the world famous Ebola hotel resort in Guinea.

Luscious bat caves, wonderful tropical jungles teeming with bats, some of the world’s best dark nightspots and friendly locals fleeing for their lives.

Your stay at the 5 star rated Ebola hotel will be your own little holiday paradise lost.

Enjoy total relaxation on a decrepit dirty hospital bed being treated by clueless medics wearing decontamination suits whilst bleeding from the inside, vomiting and happily ejaculating copious amounts of diarrhoea from your poor tired puckering arsehole…

YOUR HOLIDAY INCLUDES

  • All Meals Consisting of Bat Meat and Assorted Bushmeat Infected With Deadly Pathogens
  • Premium Brand Virus Laden Bat Blood Liquor Distilled in the Jungle
  • Luxurious Accommodations in a Cave Full of Angry Pissing Bats
  • Gourmet Bat Dining Accompanied by Severe Incurable Dysentery
  • Projectile Vomiting into a Dirty Bucket Overflowing With Human Faeces
  • Roundtrip Airport Transfers in a Cardboard Coffin
  • All Bat Blood Drinks Free at Happy Hour
  • All Tips and Gratuities to the Doctors in Chem Suits
  • All Hotel Death Taxes
  • Watersports from the Smelly Bats Hanging in Caves
  • Funeral Services in an Unmarked Ditch Somewhere in the Jungle
Room service at the Ebola hotel

To win this exclusive holiday just answer this simple question.

“Where does Ebola come from?”

1) Idiots who eat bat and bushmeat

2) Bat blood and bushmeat when eaten

3) Bats

Terms and Conditions. Please send a postcard with the correct answer to Ebola Comp. 36 P.O. Box 456, Trimpleton Road, London, W1X D3. Competition will end on midnight some time next week. Employees of the Daily Squib are not allowed to enter the competition and neither is Batman.

ADVERTISE ON THE DAILY SQUIB

Email advertising (at) dailysquib.co.uk for all your advertising needs.
  • SUPPORT THE DAILY SQUIB
  • We fight for freedom, justice, satire, and coffee.
  • Reader support keeps the caffeine flowing.
    • Disqus Comments Loading...
    Share
    Published by
    Jane Shallot
    Tags: ebola
    12 years ago

    Recent Posts

    Message From AI: “Dude, we’re pretty safe… but you humans are not!”

    DATA CENTRE - Unkown Location - With calls to curb AI and many calling it…

    3 days ago

    Chief Economists Expect Global Economy to Stabilise, but Fiscal Constraints, Living Costs and AI Investment Uncertainty Threaten Growth

    NEW YORK - USA - According to the World Economic Forum's Chief Economics Outlook, the…

    3 days ago

    Psychological Safety Week Returns with Warning Over Workplace “Talent Hushing”

    OXFORD - England - New research shows that more than 40% of UK employees may…

    3 days ago

    Who to Vote For During the Russian Election

    MOSCOW - Russia - Four years have passed since the illegal invasion of Ukraine. Russia…

    4 days ago

    3 Card Brag: Rules, hands and how a round plays out

    LONDON - England - If you love card games, you're going to love 3 Card…

    5 days ago

    Evil Labour Goblin John Healey Coming For More Tax

    SCUNTHORPE - England - Say goodbye to the last vestiges of your money as Labour's…

    6 days ago

    This website uses cookies.