Meghan Markle Could Sell Sussex Branded Landmines On Instagram

Meghan Markle loves money so much, she is now considering selling Sussex branded landmines on her Instagram affiliate marketing shop. The landmines would be dropshipped and delivered to any war zone, DMZ or territory with next day shipping available, giving her a nice tidy commission.

It’s the dollars, any way to make cash money is okay, and Markle is no exception to this rule.

It is not certain which type of Sussex branded landmines Meghan will go for, but it will probably be the type that blows people up.

Mine expert Hugo Boom is an ex-Pentagon arms salesman and suggests the celebrity influencer sells mines like the M18A1 Claymore fragmentation mine in bulk, maybe 100,000 units minimum, which in commission sales could be top-notch.

Bulk orders from places like Myanmar or Hamas would make for some serious cash.

“The M18 is a beautiful piece of ordnance. When detonated, the explosion drives the matrix forward, out of the mine at a velocity of 3,937 ft/s, at the same time breaking it into individual fragments. The steel balls are projected in a 60 degree fan-shaped pattern that is 6.6 ft high and 55 yd wide at a range of 55 yd. The force of the explosion deforms the relatively soft steel balls into a shape similar to a .22 rimfire projectile.

“If she’s going for real sales, I also suggest the Sussex branded M16 APM bounding mine. These fuckers sell like hot cakes. When it is tripped, a small propelling charge launches the body of the mine 3 to 4 feet into the air, where the main charge detonates and sprays fragmentation at roughly waist height. I love these things, they’re absolute genius. Jack-in-the-box shit right there!

“Okay, I heard she’s selling jam as well. I gotta tell you, after these mines go off, it kinda looks like jam, except maybe a few eyeballs, and bones in the mix too!”