Oh dear! A Boy Band Member Has Fallen From a Hotel Balcony

Apparently, according to the mainstream media, a boy band member and corporate Simon Cowell creation flung himself from a hotel balcony in Argentina after allegedly infusing himself with numerous types of strange powders and other stuff. We never heard of this guy, so after a Google search found out that the geezer’s name rhymes with the words “lame”, “drain” and “insane”.

Obviously this is a tragic loss for the world of music, a huge talented musician has passed away, what an absolute travesty. Let’s hope no other corporate creations decide to go the same direction as this poor guy.

Will the world of music ever survive this loss? Will this boy band member be immortalised in 100 years from now, or maybe two weeks? Who knows? Perhaps, Beethoven and Mozart have finally met their match.

It’s all right for Simon Cowell though because he can now release the definitive best of compilation of whatever the autotune boy band was called and rake in some serious bucks for a brief moment in time. Maybe Cowell needs a new fleet of Bentleys?

This poor boy band member must’ve been a true talent because even the celebrity Katie Price came out of some crucial tit balloon surgery to comment on this poor sod’s demise. It must have really hit home for her to do that.

Warning!

There’s only one direction to go when you jump from a fucking hotel balcony — down. Be careful out there, folks, it’s a dangerous world and bad shit sometimes happens, especially when something like gravity is involved.