Hollywood Director Needs Teleprompter For Everyday Speech

LAS VEGAS - USA - Hollywood director Michael Bay cannot speak without the use of a teleprompter it has been revealed.

The director who makes some of the most bland plotless films ever to reach the screen and has no cinematic talent whatsoever is a sufferer of terminal Telepromptitis which is a recognised medical condition. Other sufferers are president Barack Hussein Obama and Miss South Carolina.

Dr. Erhud Weiss described the condition on the Oprah Winfrey show: “It’s not just untalented Hollywood directors who suffer but it is a serious condition where certain people have to read lines written by other people because their brains cannot make their own sentences up. They’re basically empty shells walking around and need to be told what to do at all times.”

Michael Bay even needs a teleprompter to order a cup of coffee and has a team of four people dragging a teleprompter around wherever he goes. He also has a 15 strong team of writers on call at all times to write what the director will say next.

ADVERTISE ON THE DAILY SQUIB

Email advertising (at) dailysquib.co.uk for all your advertising needs.
  • SUPPORT THE DAILY SQUIB
  • We fight for freedom, justice, satire, and coffee.
  • Reader support keeps the caffeine flowing.
  • Disqus Comments Loading...
    Share
    Published by

    Recent Posts

    Message From AI: “Dude, we’re pretty safe… but you humans are not!”

    DATA CENTRE - Unkown Location - With calls to curb AI and many calling it…

    3 days ago

    Chief Economists Expect Global Economy to Stabilise, but Fiscal Constraints, Living Costs and AI Investment Uncertainty Threaten Growth

    NEW YORK - USA - According to the World Economic Forum's Chief Economics Outlook, the…

    3 days ago

    Psychological Safety Week Returns with Warning Over Workplace “Talent Hushing”

    OXFORD - England - New research shows that more than 40% of UK employees may…

    3 days ago

    Who to Vote For During the Russian Election

    MOSCOW - Russia - Four years have passed since the illegal invasion of Ukraine. Russia…

    4 days ago

    3 Card Brag: Rules, hands and how a round plays out

    LONDON - England - If you love card games, you're going to love 3 Card…

    5 days ago

    Evil Labour Goblin John Healey Coming For More Tax

    SCUNTHORPE - England - Say goodbye to the last vestiges of your money as Labour's…

    6 days ago

    This website uses cookies.