Meghan Markle Needs to Come Back to UK Urgently

Netflix producers and Spotify, along with Oprah Winfrey are urging Meghan Markle and Harry to return to the UK and the royal family so they can collect more shit to spout to Americans for entertainment purposes.

“It’s no use if these conniving shit-spreaders are in Montecito, California. They’ve run out of stuff to say about the royal family that they hate so much. Americans are getting bored of Markle and Harry, and unless they come up with more royal gossip the greedy duo will get dumped by Netflix and Spotify,” a media insider revealed.

Whenever Harry has a conversation with a member of the royal family, immediately afterwards his first port of call is some trashy U.S. TV network where he quotes verbatim his exact conversation with his relative. For example, if Harry had a brief meeting with Prince Charles, and during the meeting Charles said that he had a flock of seagulls fly out of his anus yesterday who went on to perform at a tap dancing gig in Las Vegas wearing stilts. The next day, Harry would be seen on some dodgy American TV news slot repeating the exact words Charles told him.

Apart from taking advantage of the Queen, a 96-year-old woman, Prince Harry needs more material for the Americans to digest. Such is the hunger for royal gossip, the evil grifting couple may have to come back to the place they truly hate — Britain.

“We paid these fuckers $100 million and they came up with nothing. I heard they spent the money already sitting on their asses in their Santa Barbara mansion. They better come up with some more royal shit soon like they did for that Oprah show or we’re gonna sue that Limey prick and his D-list actress wife for every cent they got!” one angry Netflix exec revealed on Friday.

Netflix shares have dropped drastically and are set to lose over 4 million subscribers this year alone. Many people who dumped their subscription cited Markle and Harry, along with Obama infecting the streaming site with their putrid woke preaching.