Miley Gets an Achy Breaky Cockroach Surprise

During Miley Cyrus’s rather boring performance, the audience seemed to be falling asleep, that is until a giant cockroach fell from the rafters above landing straight onto her outstretched tongue.

Will Smith who was in the audience with his kids recalled the event: “I was bored out of my mind sitting there watching Miley simulating sex and fellating a rubber thumb, when out of the light rig a giant roach came down. I immediately got into Scientology mode to analyse this curious happening. She had her tongue out and was flicking it like a lizard, when the roach plopped on her tongue. Then what she did was truly unbelievable. She crunched that thing like a taco, the mic picked it all up as she ate it up chewing a little as the juices flowed down her chin. Then she smiled and burped. That’s all I remember. I’m gonna need some serious auditing after seeing that. Phew! As for my kids, I’m gonna send them straight to Sea Org for this to get over what they saw. I’m angry. Real angry.”

Miley Cyrus’s dad, Billy Bob Jim Cyrus who was in the audience said: “She broke my achy breaky heart with that performance. Back in Hicksville where we come from, we’re always taught to share. She shoulda saved some for her pa. She ain’t learned a single lesson I taught her.”

The rest of the VMA awards were uneventful, and included acts like G4326, R-Statz, L8967, X-6548334 and 1D.