Labour Equalities Minister Harriet Harperson Shown Parallel Parking Her Car

BELFAST - Northern Ireland - On a recent visit to the city, Labour Equalities minister, Harriet Harperson showed off her parallel parking and spatial awareness skills to a group of jeering male students.

“Not all women are bad at parking, and I think I actually did a really good job considering those vile male good for nothing students were jeering at me throughout my half hour session,” Harperson said from her car afterwards.

Local taxi driver Seamus O’Riordan was at the scene and commented on the Equalities Minister’s parking skills: “There is a tendency to suggest that women are not very good at parking because it has been proven scientifically that their spatial awareness is less effective than men, but after seeing Harriet Harperson, I have to agree fully with that theory. You could have got a bloody bus into that space. Is it no wonder that there are no female Grand Prix drivers out there? She’s a danger to other car users on the road.”

Staunch feminist, Harriet Harperson has now called for all men to be stripped of their vehicles as a form of emasculation so that the roads can only be populated by female drivers.

“A man’s car is just an extension of their penis. If the government takes away their boy racer cars, then we women would have more room to park our cars and I wouldn’t need a shameful half an hour to park the damn thing. Come on sisters, let us come together to free the roads up from these chauvinist pigs so we can park in peace,” Harriet Harperson said angrily.

The Shadow Equalities minister will return immediately to mainland Britain tomorrow and and has vowed to petition parliament to ban all males from owning or driving a car.


Do you value freedom?

SUPPORT THE DAILY SQUIB We fight for freedom, justice, satire and coffee.
  • First they came for the Satirists
  • And I did not speak out
  • Then they came for the...
  • Disqus Comments Loading...
    Share
    Published by

    Recent Posts

    CONFESSION – Lord Mandy: “How I was played like a fiddle by a Russian spy”

    LONDON - England - Former comrade Lord Mandy has made a confession about his crimes…

    8 mins ago

    “Comrades, here’s a small list of current business closures due to my policies”

    SCUNTHORPE - England - Commissar Rachel Reeves is proud of her record for economic "growth"…

    7 hours ago

    Homeless Fergie Found Under Waterloo Bridge

    LONDON - England - Yes, you guessed correctly. It's under Waterloo Bridge for the former…

    2 days ago

    Prince Andrew: “Why is it just the Brits in the Epstein files?”

    DUBAI - UAE - Prince Andrew decries why the Epstein files mainly focus on the…

    3 days ago

    Why I had to dump the “Jonah” Commissar Reeves from the China begging trip

    BEIJING - China - Comrade Starmer explains why he dumped "Jonah" Commissar Reeves from the…

    4 days ago

    Comrade Starmer Visiting Communist Comrades in China

    BEIJING - China - Comrade Starmer is on a visit to the communist country as…

    6 days ago

    This website uses cookies.