Cruise Tops Scatology Cult Hall of Fame

LOS ANGELES - USA - Actor Tom Cruise has topped the Scatology cult's hall of fame and will be honoured for his stellar work for the toxic poop cult with a lavish ceremony next month.

“When I first saw Tom, he reminded me of a stubborn dingleberry I once had because he is so insistent and demanding. I just knew we had to recruit him into the cult so he could recruit more die hard Scatology fans.” Head of the Scatology cult, David Chimpchunks, told Scatology Today magazine.

Ever since the Scatology cult was invented by N. Ron Hubbub years ago with an almighty anal sneeze that released a load of alien sewer serpents into the depths of peoples’ minds, the cult has gone from strength to strength and recruited millions to its ranks.

“Our bowl is overflowing with supersonic klingon sewer sauce and the recruits keep coming and coming,” a jubilant David Chimpchunks said yesterday from the cult’s lavish offices in a sewage processing plant in Beverly Hills.

The 56th Scatology Awards will take place in April and are sure to be as entertaining as a bowl of fresh steaming turd soup.

ADVERTISE ON THE DAILY SQUIB

Email advertising (at) dailysquib.co.uk for all your advertising needs.
  • SUPPORT THE DAILY SQUIB
  • We fight for freedom, justice, satire, and coffee.
  • Reader support keeps the caffeine flowing.
  • Disqus Comments Loading...
    Share
    Published by
    Tags: Scatologyus

    Recent Posts

    DEFENCELESS BRITAIN – The Practical British Prepper: A Three-Month Household Plan

    LONDON - England - Britain is defenceless and bankrupt. It is not too late if…

    15 hours ago

    Why Labour is Destroying British Pubs

    LONDON - England - Labour is destroying British pubs. Across the British Isles, thousands of…

    3 days ago

    King Charles Agrees to Meghan Markle Statue at Buckingham Palace

    LONDON - England - King Charles III has agreed to a Meghan Markle statue to…

    6 days ago

    Dangerous Criminal Disappointed by Early Release Thanks to Labour

    WORMWOOD SCRUBS - England - A dangerous criminal is seriously disappointed with his early release…

    6 days ago

    Comrade Burn’em Residing at His Manchester Dacha For Holiday

    MANCHESTER - England - Comrade Burn'em has retired to his dacha up north after two…

    6 days ago

    Digital Science Launches Papers AI: an AI-Native Researcher Workspace for Writing, Data and Code

    LONDON - England - Digital Science launches Papers AI which gives researchers and students an…

    7 days ago

    This website uses cookies.