Cruise Tops Scatology Cult Hall of Fame

LOS ANGELES - USA - Actor Tom Cruise has topped the Scatology cult's hall of fame and will be honoured for his stellar work for the toxic poop cult with a lavish ceremony next month.

“When I first saw Tom, he reminded me of a stubborn dingleberry I once had because he is so insistent and demanding. I just knew we had to recruit him into the cult so he could recruit more die hard Scatology fans.” Head of the Scatology cult, David Chimpchunks, told Scatology Today magazine.

Ever since the Scatology cult was invented by N. Ron Hubbub years ago with an almighty anal sneeze that released a load of alien sewer serpents into the depths of peoples’ minds, the cult has gone from strength to strength and recruited millions to its ranks.

“Our bowl is overflowing with supersonic klingon sewer sauce and the recruits keep coming and coming,” a jubilant David Chimpchunks said yesterday from the cult’s lavish offices in a sewage processing plant in Beverly Hills.

The 56th Scatology Awards will take place in April and are sure to be as entertaining as a bowl of fresh steaming turd soup.

ADVERTISE ON THE DAILY SQUIB

Email advertising (at) dailysquib.co.uk for all your advertising needs.
  • SUPPORT THE DAILY SQUIB
  • We fight for freedom, justice, satire, and coffee.
  • Reader support keeps the caffeine flowing.
  • Disqus Comments Loading...
    Share
    Published by
    Tags: Scatologyus

    Recent Posts

    Labour Mourns Downfall of Leftist Celebrity Hero Russell Brand

    MANCHESTER - England - The far-left and Labour Party are today mourning the downfall of…

    3 days ago

    Convicted Rapist Russell Brand to go to Prison

    LONDON - England - Former celebrity Russell Brand has been convicted of rape.

    4 days ago

    US Midterms: Lame Duck Trump Just Got Ducked in the …

    WASHINGTON - D.C. - There's blood on the cities of America after a midterm election…

    5 days ago

    Why Mission Uncrossable Became a Crash Phenomenon

    LONDON - England - When it comes to crash-style gaming, Mission Uncrossable is making huge…

    6 days ago

    London 2026 – The City of Shit

    LONDON - England - The capital city of Britain was once a great city but…

    1 week ago

    BUDGET SECRETS – Why Labour Needs the Neets

    MANCHESTER - England - It was a great Labour budget yesterday for the NEETS and…

    2 weeks ago

    This website uses cookies.