Harry and Meghan to Take 6 Weeks Off From Permanent Vacation

It’s a hard life taking private jets and first class trips around the world where your every whim is catered for and you are attended by numerous staff hand and foot.

Meghan and Harry have announced they will take six weeks off during the Christmas period to travel around in private jets and stay in five-star boutique hotels at the expense of the British taxpayer.

Meghan Markle: “I am existing. Not living!”

Speaking to ITV, Meghan Markle told of her anguish: “It is hard. I have an entourage of 143 staff members attending to my daily needs, and travelling with them can be intense, simply because of the amount of luggage we have.”

Indeed, the Duchess of Sussex, Meghan has so many people in her entourage, they have to take a separate plane to get to each destination.

Some of the entourage include a specific sharpie pen holder (sharpies can come in many colours), four manicurists, five pedicurists, twelve hair stylists, eighteen PR officials, and even six diaper changers for baby Archie, who can have violent blowouts at any time.

Prince Harry, has a rather simpler arrangement and even dresses himself, much to the chagrin of Meghan.

Amongst the many foibles the new Duchess exhibits, is a rather unsavoury appetite for freebies.

Whenever the new royal stays at one of these five-star hotels, Meghan likes to take the cutlery and bath robes and anything else she thinks is valuable. In Frogmore, staff have been astounded at the amount of booty Meghan collects from every five-star visit.

“We find bed side clocks, hair driers, Mormon bibles, and even a stool, amongst all the silver cutlery she has appropriated from these five-star establishments. It’s not only the cutlery, if there is a buffet at the hotel, she will ask staff members to take four of five plates worth of food to her room which she wraps up in kitchen paper and takes home. Most of it is then dumped in the compost at Frogmore because she forgot about it, or it went rotten,” one former staff member recalls.

It is certainly hard work being a new royal and many people are now gushing over Meghan on twitter after her tear soaked interview recently on ITV.

“It’s hard, because like, when I had my £700,000 baby shower in America, I got home sick on the plane back to the miserable Britain where everyone hates me. I told Harry, I don’t want to go back to that grey place where hypocrisy filled celebrities are vilified in newspapers and greed fuelled champagne socialism is given the short shrift.”