Prince Harry Glad to be Back From Africa PR Offensive

The mentally challenged prince Harry is said to be pleased he and his family are back from the organised PR extravaganza in Southern Africa.

Asked what he will do with his time at Frogmore cottage, the prince replied in his customary dopey voice.

“I am going to learn how to read and write. It is something I have always wanted to do, and Meghan who says and does everything for me said she might help me if I am a good boy.”

Indeed, reading and writing are necessary functions for most people, but for prince Harry, much of his formative years when he was meant to be studying, went up in smoke, or up his nostrils.

The prince is however glad to be back at home with his wife and new baby.

“I, I, excuse me, (dribbles on the floor) I will be able to write a letter to the press soon to tell them I am angry at the way they treat my wife during PR photoshoots. She tells the press to come along and when they take pictures and write articles which I cannot read, she gets angry. I have heard about these articles and I do not approve (starts sobbing).”

The fragile mentally challenged prince is a sad former shadow of himself, miserable, tense, brainwashed and pussy whipped, he can’t even remember his best friend’s name any more, or the rules for playing rugger.

“I used to have a best friend, what was his name again Jonty? Monty? Oh, who knows? We used to go to Twickers to see the rugger, but I’m not allowed to do that any more. I am a feminist climate change activist now, at least that’s what I have been told.” ( a lone tear runs down Harry’s cheek and plops on his shoe)

How very, very sad.