Woman Banned From Instagram Doesn’t Think She Exists Anymore

Cheryl Lamb, 23, from Rotherham, used to be on Instagram. One day, she was banned from the online platform and is now completely lost emotionally and psychologically.

“I don’t feel I exist any more. Yesterday, I bought a new handbag but I did not do a selfie with me holding it. I might as well have not bought it, so I binned it. Today I was going to have a macrobiotic meal and take pics of it, but instead might as well have a burger and chips because I’m not on Instagram any more. My life is so fucking over!”

Psychologists call this new phenomenon “Instaloss”.

“One minute these neurotic narcissists are showing off these ‘wonderful’ events and places they go to, they are showing off the amazing diets they have, and posing in their selfies made up to the hilt. It gives these people meaning, and the more followers they get, the more validation to their fake image projected. Instagram users are shallow people with no clarity or meaning to their lives apart from showing off the next best picture to make themselves look bigger, and more beautiful than they are in real life. When off Instagram, these people are not alive any more, they might as well be dead, because for them, reality is a terrible place,” Dr. Anne Fetherington, a clinical psychologist revealed.

Amongst the shallow vulgarity of Instagram and its users, there is a sad note to jot down on the noticeboard of eternal loneliness.

What would these people on Instagram all do if their drug of narcissism and banality were to halt for a day or two?

“If life is meaningless when you are not showing off to other Instagram users, then these people would be positively suicidal. It goes without saying, the serotonin levels in their brains would be depleted to zero bringing on abject misery,” another clinical expert revealed.

The other rather more illicit side of Instagram is the way some of these narcissists make money on the platform. No, it is not through great thoughts, art work, musical prowess, or authoring a bestseller. Many make money from being paid to pose next to products where some huge hitters like the Kardashians can command six figure sums for a single photo. No doubt without the tax offices being notified. Many even spend thousands of dollars on fake Instagram followers to try to reach the heady heights of the equally plastic stars raking in literally millions of dollars every month for doing absolutely nothing