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Grand Tour Special: Clarkson to Drive Maserati With Speedometer Limited by EU Speed Directive

MODENA - Italy - The days of seeing Jeremy Clarkson and the other two gits speeding around roads is over as a new EU directive will force manufacturers to install speed limiters into all road vehicles.

Jeremy Clarkson, how much do you love the EU now? Imagine driving one of your supercars forced to have EU speedometers that limit the speed?

There will be no more 120 MPH overtaking manoeuvres in your Lamborghini Gallardo Spyder passing the Hamster in his vomit coloured Nissan Micra.

Taking the fun out of driving

The EU will now control every manufacturers speed controllers, and will be ordered to fit speed limiters in all vehicles. Other nanny state technologies that would be required include systems to determine whether a driver is distracted or drowsy, automatic emergency braking, lane-keep assist, backup cameras and an improved event data recorder to track your every move and store information from before a crash.

Forget about seeing the trio speeding around European roads anymore, they will now be forced to keep well within the speed the cars will allow them to travel.

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