Female MP Angry For Not Being Taken Seriously After Posing For Men's Magazine

Don’t mention the Mensch, or her pert tits for that matter, because posing in a provocative manner in a men’s magazine is the done thing to do in parliament these days; especially if you’re a Chelsea chick lit author with a passion for cocaine binges in record company toilets and twitter spats with other nobodies on the internet.

“I need to be taken seriously all the time. Here, look at my curves, they’re all about that proportional representation(s) or summink I read. I’m good at politics, like I will debate for hours and hours about what eye shadow to wear and how thin my thong should be. Let’s discuss my new photo shoot. Do you think I was pouting enough as I showed off my taut, well toned body to all the men, who will no doubt got their knobbers out and stick the magazine pages together? No, seriously, I want to be taken seriously. How about a bit of legislation? I want to write a white paper about something or rather, maybe a pink paper, or how’s about a red paper with green polka dots. We need to make parliament more pretty, and parliamentarians need to bow down to my beauty when I walk in the chamber. I’m sure everyone’s daydreaming about taking me behind the House of Commons restaurant and entering my chamber. Ooh er, missus, know what I mean?” Menschy Mensch, the Right Honourable pinup told the Sun.

This feisty, beautiful, and of course un-surgeried lady, is in fact a breath of glamorous fresh air in the dark corridors of Westminster, and she should be applauded for her stoutheartedness in a not too welcoming atmosphere.