No The Daily Squib Will Not Open an Office in North Korea

PYONGYANG - North Korea - There were scenes of mass hysteria and lamentation on Monday as millions of North Koreans openly wept in public at the terrible news that there will not be any Daily Squib offices or publications in their country in the foreseeable future.

As the thousands of grieving crowds wept in the streets in the main square where communist shows of military strength are held every year, there were reports of North Koreans even jumping off high rise buildings.

Not since British former Prime Minister, Gordon Brown’s resignation have there been such scenes of utter despair amongst a population.

The much anticipated publication of the North Korean edition of the Daily Squib had unfortunately been thwarted by a communist party censor deeming the whole newspaper a danger to the state.

“I was waiting to read the first edition. We were waiting for ten years. Every day, they say you can read the Daily Squib, then the next day they say it come tomorrow, then the next day they say we have to wait one more week. How much longer do we have to wait so we can read the Daily Squib? I can’t take it anymore, I’m going to commit hara kiri. Oh, that’s Japanese, never mind,” a very upset North Korean Daily Squib fan told state news before being taken away to a re-education camp.

ADVERTISE ON THE DAILY SQUIB

Email advertising (at) dailysquib.co.uk for all your advertising needs.
  • SUPPORT THE DAILY SQUIB
  • We fight for freedom, justice, satire, and coffee.
  • Reader support keeps the caffeine flowing.
  • Disqus Comments Loading...
    Share
    Published by

    Recent Posts

    Message From AI: “Dude, we’re pretty safe… but you humans are not!”

    DATA CENTRE - Unkown Location - With calls to curb AI and many calling it…

    3 days ago

    Chief Economists Expect Global Economy to Stabilise, but Fiscal Constraints, Living Costs and AI Investment Uncertainty Threaten Growth

    NEW YORK - USA - According to the World Economic Forum's Chief Economics Outlook, the…

    3 days ago

    Psychological Safety Week Returns with Warning Over Workplace “Talent Hushing”

    OXFORD - England - New research shows that more than 40% of UK employees may…

    3 days ago

    Who to Vote For During the Russian Election

    MOSCOW - Russia - Four years have passed since the illegal invasion of Ukraine. Russia…

    4 days ago

    3 Card Brag: Rules, hands and how a round plays out

    LONDON - England - If you love card games, you're going to love 3 Card…

    5 days ago

    Evil Labour Goblin John Healey Coming For More Tax

    SCUNTHORPE - England - Say goodbye to the last vestiges of your money as Labour's…

    6 days ago

    This website uses cookies.