World Police Forces in New Threat As Officers Dance Uncontrollably

“We have seen police forces reduced to nothing but moving masses on the streets unable to conduct proper policing activities against criminals because they are too busy getting down to the funky music. We need to halt this terrible craze or criminals will simply get the wrong message. They’re meant to fear the police, not laugh at them,” Chief Detective Inspector, Dennis Gredham, of the Metropolitan Police told the BBC.

Officers across London have reported irresistible urges to dance whilst on duty.

“I was just about to go back to the station to do some more paperwork when I got the desire to dance. I couldn’t help myself, I was gyrating my hips and waving my hat around with absolutely no control over myself. I am ashamed to say that I did not complete anymore paperwork or wasting time in the cafeteria that day,” PC. James Matlock, recalled.

The problem is so widespread that American police forces are on immediate dance standby in case any of their officers decide to start grooving on the beat.

Speaking from Atlanta, Georgia, Officer John Asshoe, told WKZDFR news: “We got an executive order in case any officers start busting out some intense dancing moves on the street. They can’t help themselves, and I have to say, I had to dance yesterday during a jay walk situation, the guy got away but after I finished dancing I shot him up three blocks away. I was just lucky that time, I know of worse situations where the bad guys really did get away.”