Bipolar Stars Discover Joy of Pole Vaulting

LOS ANGELES - USA - The latest group of bipolar celebrities are discovering new ways to help themselves with their bipolar disorders, celebrity magazine, Hello has published today.

“It’s the latest greatest thing to come from Hollywood. We’ve got so many bipolars now that we all got together in a hotel suite in Las Vegas two months ago and decided to start a pole vaulting tournament,” visiting British TV personality, Stephen Fry, revealed.

Last year there was a major spate of celebrity bipolar disorders being diagnosed by celebrity psychiatrists in all the major worldwide entertainment centres.

“You could say we had a mass celebrity bipolar awakening last year and it has accelerated to epidemic proportions right now fuelled by the celebrity obsessed media and psychiatry business. If you’re a celebrity now and you’re not bipolar, your agent will make sure that you become bipolar by any means possible. As a career move it is now a major requirement. Look at Charlie Sheen, his career has shot off to the stratosphere and his ‘bipolar genius’ is rocking the entertainment world as we speak,” Jed Albright, a Hollywood media writer said in his weekly column last week.

Of course, what’s a bipolar celebrity going to do in their spare time? Pole vaulting is now so popular amongst bipolar celebrities that some are even considering entering for the upcoming 2012 Olympics in London.

“One minute I’m low on the ground, then the next minute I’m soaring in the sky high over the vault on my pole. It’s the best feeling when you’re up there high as a kite, but when I’m on the ground I feel like hell,” Josie Munter, an American Idol third place winner told Hello.

Psychiatrists working for the entertainment industry are now working on Tripolar, Quadrapolar and Quintapolar disorders, which will possibly be introduced to the celebrity network next year.

ADVERTISE ON THE DAILY SQUIB

Email advertising (at) dailysquib.co.uk for all your advertising needs.
  • SUPPORT THE DAILY SQUIB
  • We fight for freedom, justice, satire, and coffee.
  • Disqus Comments Loading...
    Share
    Published by
    Tags: celebrity

    Recent Posts

    “I WILL CARRY ON! CHAOS! I WILL CARRY ON! CHAOS! CHAOSSSSS!”

    PLANET SCUNTHORPE - KEIR DAVROS HAS MADE A DEFIANT SPEECH IN DEFENCE OF HIS RULE.

    21 hours ago

    Artificial Intelligence Emerging as a Key Competitive Advantage in Cybersecurity, New Report Finds

    GENEVA - Switzerland - Artificial intelligence is transforming the cybersecurity landscape at an unprecedented pace…

    3 days ago

    Comical Starmer Reassures Labour Party After Election Drubbing

    SCUNTHORPE - England - Comical Starmer has reassured Labour Party members that everything is okay…

    4 days ago

    LOCAL ELECTION RESULTS: “Comrades, everything is okay. Nothing has changed!”

    SCUNTHORPE - England - Comrade Starmer is defiant despite massive Labour Party losses with the…

    5 days ago

    VOTE LABOUR: “Comrades, today I am ordering you to vote for Labour”

    SCUNTHORPE - England - Supreme Comrade Starmer is ordering all citizens of the People's Republic…

    6 days ago

    We’re Giving Away 1,000 FREE Tickets on an EXCLUSIVE Hantavirus Cruise

    SOUTHAMPTON - England - The Daily Squib is giving away 1,000 free tickets on an…

    1 week ago

    This website uses cookies.