Michael Moore Eats Own Money

“For breakfast I might eat $10,000 in raw cash, then for lunch, maybe $30,000 and by dinner I like to tuck down to at least $60,000,” Mr Moore revealed to American talk show host, Jon Stewart.

His voracious appetite for hard cash is legendary and sometimes he is seen snacking on thousand dollar bills in the Manhattan streets and cafes.

“Yeah, sometimes Michael comes in here. He’ll order half the menu, then we watch as he sticks a few thousand dollar bills on the rye bread or omelette. He scoffs that shit down and you should see the look of happiness on his face. He gets a real capitalist thrill out of it,” Jonty Mancuso, a diner owner on 43rd Street told CNN.

Michael Moore’s films have made so much cash denigrating capitalism that he even uses it as toilet paper.

“I had a nice cash shit today in the bowl. It was a capitalist bowl, and while I was doing it, I was drinking champagne, that’s what a good socialist I am,” Mr Moore quipped as he took another wad of thousand dollar bills to wipe his enormous arsehole with.