Chelsea Clinton Gets Divorced

It was meant to be the marriage of the century, instead the marriage between the Clinton daughter and Mr Lewinsky was consigned, much like a used tissue in Bill Clinton’s Oval Office, to the waste bin of history.

The bored looking couple arrived on a horse drawn carriage to the synagogue for the £4 million wedding where they were married by a Rabbi under a chupa for all of two minutes.

“It was a beautiful ceremony, and the pair didn’t even look into each others eyes. All around there were sighs of ‘Oy vay’ and ‘Oh vez mear’. Two minutes of utter silence passed before they said they wanted a divorce on the grounds of boredom. You know how this new generation is, all about low attention spans and investment banking,” Gilda Goldberg, a guest at the wedding said.

Immediately after the divorce was announced, all the guests ran towards the wedding cake, which cost a whopping $65,000.

“There was a stampede rush to the wedding cake where people jumped right in there so they could get a slice and sell it in the streets or ebay for a massive markup,” Ron Jeremy, another guest at the wedding said.

Chelsea’s father, Bill, was nowhere to be seen but there were some reports that he was consummating the marriage for the two in a backroom with a number of bride’s maids.