Entertainment

2016 The Year Satan Collected

CLARKSDALE - USA - Making a deal with the devil ain't easy, because you really have to want what he offers and you really have to be ready to give away your soul for eternity.

 

 

 

Speaking from the crossroads, just east of Clarksdale, Mississippi, we asked the devil what business was like in 2016?

“It been good, I got me a good crop this year. Bowie, Prince, George Michael. They had the full run of what I offered them. They signed on the dotted line all those years ago, and when it was time to collect, all I had to do was stand by and let their souls slip through. This is one contract they couldn’t get out of.”

To have such musical icons lose their physical bodies in 2016 has been quite the harvest for satan but still he’s waiting on some big souls who have been holding out for way too long.

“I’m still waiting on a friend, or two. The Rolling Stones will eventually roll my way again, they been holding out, I give em my respec’, but Mick and Keith, you’ve had your run and then some, I made you the greatest surviving rock’n’roll band in the world. Sooner or later you’re gonna have to come to papa.”

Wearing a pristine black suit, black hat and sporting a toothy grin that could make milk curdle, the devil winks mischievously, then disappears in a puff of smoke, leaving a slight sulphurous smell.

It’s just turned midnight, the crossroads is now empty.

ADVERTISE ON THE DAILY SQUIB

Email advertising (at) dailysquib.co.uk for all your advertising needs.
  • SUPPORT THE DAILY SQUIB
  • We fight for freedom, justice, satire, and coffee.
  • Disqus Comments Loading...
    Share
    Published by

    Recent Posts

    “I WILL CARRY ON! CHAOS! I WILL CARRY ON! CHAOS! CHAOSSSSS!”

    PLANET SCUNTHORPE - KEIR DAVROS HAS MADE A DEFIANT SPEECH IN DEFENCE OF HIS RULE.

    20 hours ago

    Artificial Intelligence Emerging as a Key Competitive Advantage in Cybersecurity, New Report Finds

    GENEVA - Switzerland - Artificial intelligence is transforming the cybersecurity landscape at an unprecedented pace…

    3 days ago

    Comical Starmer Reassures Labour Party After Election Drubbing

    SCUNTHORPE - England - Comical Starmer has reassured Labour Party members that everything is okay…

    4 days ago

    LOCAL ELECTION RESULTS: “Comrades, everything is okay. Nothing has changed!”

    SCUNTHORPE - England - Comrade Starmer is defiant despite massive Labour Party losses with the…

    5 days ago

    VOTE LABOUR: “Comrades, today I am ordering you to vote for Labour”

    SCUNTHORPE - England - Supreme Comrade Starmer is ordering all citizens of the People's Republic…

    6 days ago

    We’re Giving Away 1,000 FREE Tickets on an EXCLUSIVE Hantavirus Cruise

    SOUTHAMPTON - England - The Daily Squib is giving away 1,000 free tickets on an…

    1 week ago

    This website uses cookies.