Britney Spears Mimes in the Shower as Well as Stage

Britney Spears is so bad at singing that she has installed state of the art miming machinery in her Hollywood shower rooms so she can lip-sync to her hit songs which she never sang in the first place, members of her household maintenance staff have told US Gossip site TMZ.

“Not only does she mime on stage whilst performing to idiots who pay huge amounts of cash to her, but she is such a bad singer with no talent whatsoever, that she has now installed a state-of-the-art Autotune microphone system in her shower so when she bleats her awful out of tune voice in the shower, it just about sounds passable and in tune,” the source said.

Britney Spears who has modelled her career on lip-syncing, usually sells out concert venues with idiots who come to watch her mime to autotuned vocals.

Conchita Marin, one of the pop star’s staff told of how Britney spent $140,000 on the shower singing machine: “She brought in audio experts to install the machines that would make her sing in the shower without breaking the windows. Before, when she sang in the shower we would have to wear earplugs walking around the house, now it sounds barely passable after her processed vocals are put through the machines.”

“It’s like people want to pay huge amounts of money to see this fat crazy faker on stage miming to terrible music and jumping around on stage like a sweaty bloated marshmallow. I’d rather shave my eyeballs with rusty razors and drill bits into my ears then attend one of her concerts,” Britney’s long suffering dad told CNN yesterday.