Jade Goody Has Operation to Remove Publicist

The 27-year-old Big Brother star left the Royal Sun Mirror Hospital in Wapping, East London, in a wheelchair and was put into a waiting
ambulance before being driven away.

According to Sky news, the operation to remove the publicist from her orifice was not an easy surgical process.

“The operation to remove Jade Goody’s publicist took all of seven hours and required a team of twelve surgeons. The publicist was lodged firmly in her bowel area and we think we got most of him out but there may be some residual headlines and sensational money making headlines still left. I hope for our sake we will all be given some rest from this awful publicist and his grotesque exploitative greed,” Chief surgeon for the Royal Sun Mirror Hospital in Wapping told reporters.

No one can be sure if the publicist was completely removed from Jade’s bowel, but as our reporter walked past the office earlier, a double-decker bus passed by with a huge Jade Goody advert on the side informing everyone that she is very ill and is suffering terribly.

Now all we need is a self gratifying smarmy interview from leech, Piers Moron, to add to the smell of effluent hanging over the whole sorry affair.