JK Rowling Donates £1million to Ministry of Labour’s Undersecretary Dolores Umbridge

JK Rowling, a muggle authoress, has thrown away some of her money and endorsed the most putrid of Ministries ever created — the Ministry of Nu-Labour.

Special taxation and examination rule maker, undersecretary Dolores Umbridge, was on hand to collect the cheque from the ailing fantasist living in cloud-cuckoo-land, JK Rowling.

“She’s given a million pounds to the Ministry of Nu-Labour! A ministry which has lined its own pockets with cronyism, sleaze, scandal and pure lies. They are the most incompetent purveyors of gross taxation, surveillance, waste, greed and hypocrisy we have ever seen. They claim to help the little man, the single parent and the poor. Yeah, by taxing them out of existence and taking away their homes and hospitals and ruining their lives. That Lord Gordomort has got a lot to answer for I tell you and here is JK Rowling endorsing him? I’ve just gone and burnt all her books. I hope she rots in hell, horrible traitor that she is,” Amy Lewis, 8, a previous JK Rowling fan told the Daily Prophet.

Lord Gordomort was very happy to receive the million pounds from the stupid and deluded JK Rowling. He is now going to use the money she gave him to cause more havoc by increasing surveillance even more on citizens and for taxing more poor people into the ground.

“Soon no one will be able to afford any food to eat or feed their children. JK Rowling can eat with her £600 million, but what about everyone else? Lord Gordomort, who Rowling has endorsed, is an evil Stalinist beast who is determined to punish every person in the land with his wasteful, over-taxing bureaucratic useless laws and his cutting down of all freedoms. He must be stopped or we are all finished,” a distraught Gryffindor student, Harry Potter told the Daily Prophet.

Indeed, this whole episode has been a very sad chapter and the Daily Squib offices worldwide have been party to many JK Rowling book burning sessions after hearing of her terrible betrayal.

“We’ve had muggles and wizards alike all turning up to burn JK Rowling’s Harry Potter books all of today. The queue is going round the block of children with the books in their satchels throwing them into the fire in disgust. We’ve got some very distraught children and parents here and they’re all crying their eyes out at the most profound betrayal by this woman, JK Rowling. If you read this, hope you’re happy with yourself. You’ve surrendered to Lord Gordomort and his vicious Ministry of Nu-Labour cronies,” Victoria Frobisher, another disgusted Gryffindor student, told the Daily Prophet newspaper.