Guns ‘N Roses to Release Album When China Becomes Democracy

LOS ANGELES - CA - A spokesman for Axl Rose has released a statement detailing the release of the new album which has been in production for 14 years.

David Geffen will have the new album delivered to his record company when “China becomes a democracy” a statement released on Wednesday announced.

The Chinese Peoples Republic is scheduled to eventually embrace Democracy in approximately 100-200 years according to experts on Communism.

“There is a distinct possibility that the Chinese hierarchy can be toppled sooner than we think by a second peoples revolution almost akin to the breakdown of Communism in Soviet Russia in the late 80’s. China seems to already have embraced capitalism and is being used as the work horse of the world with cheap labour to create useless Chinese trinkets that break easily,” Professor of Economics at Harvard Technical College, Brian Weinstein has outlined in Newsweek.

Another stipulation that was written into the ‘Chinese Democracy’ contract 14 years ago by W. Axl Rose is that the CD’s should be processed and printed in China as well — but only once China has found Democracy.

Guns ‘N Roses fans all over the world have met the news with disgust and anger. The music fans now have a wait for the new album that could last decades until the Chinese Communist Republic finds Democracy.

One disappointed fan from New Jersey is even vowing to organise a trip to China so as to bring about Democracy. Ed Rezno, 23, said: “Me and some dedicated G’N’R fans are organising a trip to Beijing this summer so we can bring about Democracy to their nation — y’all ever her about Tiannemen Square? Well, we’re gonna be there this summer and it’s gonna be a petition for Democracy. W’ere gonne bring revolution to the Chinese the G’N’R way!”

You’ve waited this long for the Chinese Democracy album. What is another 100 year wait?

Do you value freedom?

SUPPORT THE DAILY SQUIB We fight for freedom, justice, satire and coffee. DUE TO THE NATURE OF OUR JUVENALIAN SATIRE WE CAN ONLY SURVIVE BY DONATIONS. PLEASE CONSIDER DONATING. THANK YOU.
Disqus Comments Loading...
Share
Published by
Tags: china

Recent Posts

Comrade Starmer is No Friend of Meddling Capitalist Enemy the USA

GRIMSDALE - England - Comrade Starmer speaks about the enemy of the People's Republic of…

24 hours ago

Trump Issues “Ultimate Bro-Mance Pardon” to Putin, Claims Ukraine Invasion Was Just “Borrowing Crimea for a Home Renovation”

MAR-A-LAGO - USA - President Donald Trump has issued a pardon to Vladimir Putin in…

1 day ago

New Analysis Predicts the Green Economy Will Exceed $7 Trillion Annually by 2030

GENEVA - Switzerland - A newly released report by the World Economic Forum reveals that…

3 days ago

“An OBR official who revealed the lies told by Reeves and Starmer has been liquidated”

LONDON - England - The head of the OBR has been liquidated and processed into…

3 days ago

A Day in the Life of a Woman in Labour’s Benefits Britain

ESSEX - England - Thanks to Labour's budget, taxpayers will foot the bill for more…

4 days ago

GameZone Casino Popularity Grows Across Online Communities

MANILA - Philippines - GameZone Casino is growing in popularity across many online communities as…

4 days ago

This website uses cookies.