6 Ways to Get Around the Massive Rail Fare Rise

Thanks to rail fares across Britain rising again by a massive percentage, here are six ways to get around the problem, especially if you are a season ticket holder.

Rip Off Britain

1) Quit your job. It’s not worth paying 75% of your annual salary getting to work and back. Instead, impregnate your wife or girlfriend once a year for the next ten years and you will get a guaranteed £4000 per month from the government in state benefits.

2) Get a high end copier and make exact replicas of your season ticket. Of course this is illegal so please do not do it.

3) Buy a car with the money for your season ticket, preferably with low petrol consumption. Where you will park it is another battle you will have to deal with as getting to work will be a traffic nightmare every day. If you work in London, you can park your vehicle outside the congestion zone and tube it.

4) Dodge the fare every day. If an inspector comes around jump off the train or lock yourself in the bogs citing chronic diarrhoea.

5) Become a train driver. This way you can get to work for free, and enjoy the perks of the job like sitting back in your chair and surfing the net on your ipad once the journey starts.

6) Get a job as a BBC executive or government minister. You will never have to commute on a train or pay for your travel ever again. It will be taxpayer funded taxis and chauffeur driven executive cars for you from now on.