Clegg Anti-affluence Marathon to Start Next Week

The CAA (Clegg Anti-affluence) marathon will start next week and runners of the 46 km race will end up in Heathrow and take a flight permanently away from Britain taking their skills, riches and expertise in wealth creation away.

“We want to make it hard for Britons to make money and become successful in Britain. If you are a successful business person, professional or patron, we do not want you anymore. Much like France has criminalised people who work hard for their money so will we,” Mr Clegg said at the Lib Dem conference in Brighton.

The new Lib Dem laws enacted by Clegg and his rival Cable will come into force next week leaving hardly time for people to sell up and leave before they are punished for working hard and earning their money.

“On your marks, get set, go! You are now free to leave the UK. All that will be left are the sub-classes and wounded middle class who are now the unemployed beaten down class. Those who are left in this tax shit hole can pay for it all,” the deputy prime minister added to cheers and guffaws from the assembled Lib Dems at the conference.