"Abandon Ship, Abandon Ship!"

LONDON - England - The good ship UK plc is going under, as thousands of people abandon these hallowed shores before the whole lot goes down.

Like rats from a sinking ship, top bankers and businesses are abandoning the UK as it slowly sinks into the debt-ridden mire caused partly by the useless Coalition government’s economic mistakes that will ensure we all go back to the stone age soon.

“Old Georgey Osborne, he just got back from Klosters and increased tax to such a rate that the destitute people are well and truly fucked. There’s no way out now but down the sink hole,” a businessman who dumped his business of 35 years to leave the UK said yesterday.

How about stimulating growth by decreasing tax, therefore increasing enterprise in the UK? Fat chance!

“Fuel duty and tax is now 85% of the price. Income tax is now so high that one has to work for six months of the year before you start making any money for yourself. The NHS is crumbling. VAT has risen to 20% on everything. Council Tax is increasing daily, and pensions will now be worthless as the FTSE 100 is set to sink into the mire like the GBP is doing right now. Food costs are now criminal, and if you’ve even got a job left, your salary won’t buy much anyway,” another businessman said before boarding another aeroplane out of Britain yesterday.

The mass exodus of enterprise, business, banking sector workers and non-doms will take its toll as even more inhibitive taxes are unveiled by the meddling Coalition government, who have shown themselves to be rank amateurs when it comes to economics.

Speaking at a Commons question time session yesterday, Chancellor George Osborne said: “I intend to stimulate growth in the UK economy by increasing taxation to such a level that the UK grinds to a complete halt and all the businesses leave our shattered economy and country permanently.”

Gordon Brown was shit but this is even worse. Wait till they start increasing the interest rates to try and curb inflation.

ADVERTISE ON THE DAILY SQUIB

Email advertising (at) dailysquib.co.uk for all your advertising needs.
  • SUPPORT THE DAILY SQUIB
  • We fight for freedom, justice, satire, and coffee.
  • Reader support keeps the caffeine flowing.
  • Disqus Comments Loading...
    Share
    Tags: economy

    Recent Posts

    Labour Mourns Downfall of Leftist Celebrity Hero Russell Brand

    MANCHESTER - England - The far-left and Labour Party are today mourning the downfall of…

    3 days ago

    Convicted Rapist Russell Brand to go to Prison

    LONDON - England - Former celebrity Russell Brand has been convicted of rape.

    4 days ago

    US Midterms: Lame Duck Trump Just Got Ducked in the …

    WASHINGTON - D.C. - There's blood on the cities of America after a midterm election…

    5 days ago

    Why Mission Uncrossable Became a Crash Phenomenon

    LONDON - England - When it comes to crash-style gaming, Mission Uncrossable is making huge…

    6 days ago

    London 2026 – The City of Shit

    LONDON - England - The capital city of Britain was once a great city but…

    1 week ago

    BUDGET SECRETS – Why Labour Needs the Neets

    MANCHESTER - England - It was a great Labour budget yesterday for the NEETS and…

    2 weeks ago

    This website uses cookies.