Another Pump and Dump Day at the Markets

NEW YORK - USA - It was business as usual at the NYSE as stocks fell by over 300 points on the Dow Jones index on Friday after rising by 300 points the previous day.

“We pump the stocks up with good news, then we get one of our boys to release some juicy info that’s kind of scary, then we dump the shares and commodities. Repeat this a few times a week and you can make some serious profits, especially if you go short and long both ways,” Alan Deano, a Wall Street pit trader told MSNBC.

Pump and dumpers used to use phone calls in the old days but now the internet does all the work for them.

“With the internet you can get news around the world in less than a second. Before, we had to use phone calls to the right people for the news and then by the time it’s printed in the newspapers it’s too f*cking late or the effect is minimal. Now I can clean up by lunchtime. I’ll buy up half of Africa when the stock is dumped, then we start pumping again and again. It’s hard work you know,” Mr Deano added before speeding off in his new Lamborghini.

Do you value freedom?

SUPPORT THE DAILY SQUIB We fight for freedom, justice, satire and coffee. DUE TO THE NATURE OF OUR JUVENALIAN SATIRE, AND CENSORSHIP WE CAN ONLY SURVIVE BY DONATIONS. PLEASE CONSIDER DONATING. THANK YOU. Biden Censorship | Starmer Censorship | Google Censorship
Disqus Comments Loading...
Share
Published by

Recent Posts

Millions “Teenage Students” Preparing For the Erasmus Scheme For UK Entry

PARIS - France - Millions of "students" are getting ready for the Erasmus Scheme so…

4 hours ago

Experts: Leftists Disarm and Destroy Nations From Within Whilst Aiding the Enemy

LONDON - England - Leftists disarm and destroy nations from within and have no positive,…

2 days ago

BBC to Trump: “You Dropped a Bomb on Me!”

WASHINGTON D.C. - USA - Trump just dropped a bomb on the BBC worth $10…

2 days ago

Far Leftists Celebrate as Their Enabled Terrorists Massacre More Jews

BONDI - Australia - The latest massacre killing 16 Jewish civilians by a terror call,…

4 days ago

‘Open Borders’ Green Party Leader Wants More Diversity in Cottaging Industry

HACKNEY - England - The 'open borders' Green Party leader is fed up with the…

5 days ago

The Daily Squib Sold Out!

LONDON - England - The Daily Squib Anthology has sold out!

5 days ago

This website uses cookies.