Russell Brand Likes Talking to Robots

LONDON - England - What's former comedian, and champagne socialist Russell Brand doing talking to a robot?

Sure, the robot in question is modelled on a millionaire Labour politician with about as much charisma as a damp used rag but what did you expect when the robots programming was always anti-business.

Chief engineer, Karl Crasswind, explains: “The Milirobot has had much programming but sometimes the millions of lines of code fail. All it takes is a semicolon in the wrong place, or a cout here or there not parsed properly within the Marxist manifesto. Believe you me the teams of programmers work day and night at Labour HQ trying to perfect the robot but nothing helps. I’m getting kind of fed up of it actually, think we need to bin it.”

Confronting the programming of the Milibrand bot is a tenuous affair because the programming veers against the economy which is a fundamental element for welfare spending.

“Business, commerce, the economy is the most important factor, because without successful business, welfare will suffer. This is the key to welfare spending and if big companies leave the UK under a punitive tax-laden Labour government there will be less money for welfare, NHS, transport etc. This is the key point that Labour’s Milirobot is programmed to tax heavily those who work hard, thus making them leave the UK. Dump the robot, I have, Milirobot is a disaster and a walking time bomb for Britain.” a previously floating voter told the Times.

Do you value freedom?

SUPPORT THE DAILY SQUIB We fight for freedom, justice, satire and coffee.
  • First they came for the Satirists
  • And I did not speak out
  • Then they came for the...
  • Disqus Comments Loading...
    Share
    Published by

    Recent Posts

    Homeless Fergie Found Under Waterloo Bridge

    LONDON - England - Yes, you guessed correctly. It's under Waterloo Bridge for the former…

    21 hours ago

    Prince Andrew: “Why is it just the Brits in the Epstein files?”

    DUBAI - UAE - Prince Andrew decries why the Epstein files mainly focus on the…

    1 day ago

    Why I had to dump the “Jonah” Commissar Reeves from the China begging trip

    BEIJING - China - Comrade Starmer explains why he dumped "Jonah" Commissar Reeves from the…

    3 days ago

    Comrade Starmer Visiting Communist Comrades in China

    BEIJING - China - Comrade Starmer is on a visit to the communist country as…

    4 days ago

    Open Borders Socialist Spain Fast Tracks Half a Million Illegal Migrants Coming to UK

    MADRID - Spain - The far-leftist socialist government has fast-tracked citizenship for over half a…

    5 days ago

    Socialist Tory Party Disgusted as Conservative Defects to Brigand Bandit Group

    LONDON - England - Comrade Badenoch of the Socialist Tory Party is very angry that…

    6 days ago

    This website uses cookies.