Russell Brand Likes Talking to Robots

LONDON - England - What's former comedian, and champagne socialist Russell Brand doing talking to a robot?

Sure, the robot in question is modelled on a millionaire Labour politician with about as much charisma as a damp used rag but what did you expect when the robots programming was always anti-business.

Chief engineer, Karl Crasswind, explains: “The Milirobot has had much programming but sometimes the millions of lines of code fail. All it takes is a semicolon in the wrong place, or a cout here or there not parsed properly within the Marxist manifesto. Believe you me the teams of programmers work day and night at Labour HQ trying to perfect the robot but nothing helps. I’m getting kind of fed up of it actually, think we need to bin it.”

Confronting the programming of the Milibrand bot is a tenuous affair because the programming veers against the economy which is a fundamental element for welfare spending.

“Business, commerce, the economy is the most important factor, because without successful business, welfare will suffer. This is the key to welfare spending and if big companies leave the UK under a punitive tax-laden Labour government there will be less money for welfare, NHS, transport etc. This is the key point that Labour’s Milirobot is programmed to tax heavily those who work hard, thus making them leave the UK. Dump the robot, I have, Milirobot is a disaster and a walking time bomb for Britain.” a previously floating voter told the Times.

ADVERTISE ON THE DAILY SQUIB

Email advertising (at) dailysquib.co.uk for all your advertising needs.
  • SUPPORT THE DAILY SQUIB
  • We fight for freedom, justice, satire, and coffee.
  • Disqus Comments Loading...
    Share
    Published by

    Recent Posts

    “I WILL CARRY ON! CHAOS! I WILL CARRY ON! CHAOS! CHAOSSSSS!”

    PLANET SCUNTHORPE - KEIR DAVROS HAS MADE A DEFIANT SPEECH IN DEFENCE OF HIS RULE.

    18 hours ago

    Artificial Intelligence Emerging as a Key Competitive Advantage in Cybersecurity, New Report Finds

    GENEVA - Switzerland - Artificial intelligence is transforming the cybersecurity landscape at an unprecedented pace…

    3 days ago

    Comical Starmer Reassures Labour Party After Election Drubbing

    SCUNTHORPE - England - Comical Starmer has reassured Labour Party members that everything is okay…

    4 days ago

    LOCAL ELECTION RESULTS: “Comrades, everything is okay. Nothing has changed!”

    SCUNTHORPE - England - Comrade Starmer is defiant despite massive Labour Party losses with the…

    5 days ago

    VOTE LABOUR: “Comrades, today I am ordering you to vote for Labour”

    SCUNTHORPE - England - Supreme Comrade Starmer is ordering all citizens of the People's Republic…

    6 days ago

    We’re Giving Away 1,000 FREE Tickets on an EXCLUSIVE Hantavirus Cruise

    SOUTHAMPTON - England - The Daily Squib is giving away 1,000 free tickets on an…

    1 week ago

    This website uses cookies.