House Approves Bill To Arm ISIS

WASHINGTON D.C. - USA - More American weapons are being dispatched to the Middle East to help militant group ISIS on their campaign.

The House on Wednesday approved President Obama’s plan to train and equip weak moderate Syrian rebels who will be immediately attacked by the highly efficient fighting forces of the Islamic State and have their hi tech American weaponry repatriated.

“As soon as the U.S. weapons are delivered to the ‘moderates’ they will be handed over to ISIS,” a confused senator said from the platform before an Obama maid told him to shut up.

The Senate is expected to give the plan final approval Thursday.

On hearing the wonderful news today, ISIS fighters across Syria and Iraq were said to be jubilant and went on a major beheading and crucifixion binge

“Always good to have more supplies, we have to thank the Americans, without their help we would be nothing,” ISIS commander Mohammed Bakri Al-Shooti told local Jihad news services in Syria.

ADVERTISE ON THE DAILY SQUIB

Email advertising (at) dailysquib.co.uk for all your advertising needs.
  • SUPPORT THE DAILY SQUIB
  • We fight for freedom, justice, satire, and coffee.
  • Reader support keeps the caffeine flowing.
  • Disqus Comments Loading...
    Share
    Published by

    Recent Posts

    Message From AI: “Dude, we’re pretty safe… but you humans are not!”

    DATA CENTRE - Unkown Location - With calls to curb AI and many calling it…

    3 days ago

    Chief Economists Expect Global Economy to Stabilise, but Fiscal Constraints, Living Costs and AI Investment Uncertainty Threaten Growth

    NEW YORK - USA - According to the World Economic Forum's Chief Economics Outlook, the…

    3 days ago

    Psychological Safety Week Returns with Warning Over Workplace “Talent Hushing”

    OXFORD - England - New research shows that more than 40% of UK employees may…

    3 days ago

    Who to Vote For During the Russian Election

    MOSCOW - Russia - Four years have passed since the illegal invasion of Ukraine. Russia…

    4 days ago

    3 Card Brag: Rules, hands and how a round plays out

    LONDON - England - If you love card games, you're going to love 3 Card…

    5 days ago

    Evil Labour Goblin John Healey Coming For More Tax

    SCUNTHORPE - England - Say goodbye to the last vestiges of your money as Labour's…

    6 days ago

    This website uses cookies.