House Approves Bill To Arm ISIS

The House on Wednesday approved President Obama’s plan to train and equip weak moderate Syrian rebels who will be immediately attacked by the highly efficient fighting forces of the Islamic State and have their hi tech American weaponry repatriated.

“As soon as the U.S. weapons are delivered to the ‘moderates’ they will be handed over to ISIS,” a confused senator said from the platform before an Obama maid told him to shut up.

The Senate is expected to give the plan final approval Thursday.

On hearing the wonderful news today, ISIS fighters across Syria and Iraq were said to be jubilant and went on a major beheading and crucifixion binge

“Always good to have more supplies, we have to thank the Americans, without their help we would be nothing,” ISIS commander Mohammed Bakri Al-Shooti told local Jihad news services in Syria.