LONDON - England - Mount Bardarbunga in Iceland is ejaculating and thrusting out billions of particles into the atmosphere blocking out the sun's rays over Britain.
Global warming activists were said to be in a joyous mood earlier today when reports came through that the Iceland volcano which is erupting will expel billions of tiny pieces of debris acting as shields reflecting the sun’s light away from earth meaning Britain’s winter temperatures could plunge to Arctic levels while summer will be devoid of sunshine.
“This is great news for global warming because instead we’ll get freezing Arctic weather in the UK, and it won’t be nice and warm and toasty,” Jemma Baxenfarqua, a keen global warming activist told the BBC.
Even chief global warmist Al Gore chimed in from his sprawling mansion in America: “Looks like you Brits will get some global cooling or should I say freezing. Don’t worry folks the amount of energy I use every year with my massive carbon emissions will mean I’m living it up while you guys get frozen to ice cubes. Oh did I not mention the Russkies? Well, last I heard they’re cutting off the gas to Europe. Here’s to your global cooling ass wipes.”
Squib staff were said to be emigrating to the Southern Hemisphere to write their articles. It seems Ebola is a better bet than seeing your testicles fall on the floor as icicles.
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