Scotland Referendum: Salmond Reveals Plan B

“I am about to reveal my Plan B for Scotland. Please sit down as this may be too much for you, if you are standing, you may need to hold onto something else. Okay, here goes. Ready? Plan A, and Plan B, is that I’m a plant. Yes, you heard that right, I am here to botch up an opportunity for Scottish Independence, and the few people who are following me are too stupid to realise it. I have been sworn in as someone who will ensure that Scotland stays in Britain, but I was told to make it look realistic. As anyone who knows how things really work, you may have noticed what I am doing, but the majority have no clue. I will get a special hand shake at the end of the referendum, and possibly a nice little monetary package for a job well done. Anyways me scunners, it’s back to work to convince more people to stay in the Union, shhh, hush hush,” SNP leader, Alex Salmond told a group of Yes No Maybe voters on Sunday.

Looks like it really is Plan B for the Scotland Referendum…or maybe just a dress rehearsal for the UK EU Referendum which will probably never take place.