Gazza Off to Gaza in Peace Deal Bid

MECCLESWORTH - England - Former footballer Paul 'Gazza' Gascoigne has made another bid to go to Gaza.

“I’m takin’ me fishing rod, a few cans of brew and a blanket,” Gazza told Mecclesworth local news.

The former footballer, is said to have aligned himself as a peace envoy and he is adamant that he can make a difference.

“Five bellies is coming with me, we’re going to parachute down to the Gaza strip and save the universe, jibber, jabber, bladadadada eaargh, tik tik tikko!”

The Home Office stepped in today telling Gazza to stay put in Britain and not try any nonsense.

“I think Gazza needs to sit tight in his one bed flat drinking tinnies and wearing his nappies. Going to Gaza would be a death sentence for the poor chap, almost like living in Grimsby or some other Northern toilet,” Edgar Hound, a spokesman for the Home Office told the BBC.

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