Primary School Teachers Kidnap Gove

CCTV pictures released by the Metropolitan police show about thirty female teachers bundling into Gove’s flat, dragging him out by his legs into the street, then throwing him head first into a school minibus and driving off at speed.

Detective Constable, Wilfred Rizzla, has put hundreds of officers on the streets searching for the popular Education Secretary.

“As we all know Michael Gove is a much loved individual nationally and we are at a loss as to how and why this kidnapping could have occurred. Hopefully he will not be tortured whilst in captivity, or have his head dunked in a bucket of dog mess.”