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“Comrades! It’s Working! Heavy Taxation Contracted the Economy by 0.1%”

LONDON - England - Commissar Rachel Reeves has praised her heavy taxation policies, which have contracted the economy by another 0.1%.

Dear comrades, I am so happy today to announce that my policies of heavy punitive taxation to fund Big State salaries and pensions and the welfare state has contracted the economy by 0.1% according to the ONS statistics. Heavy taxation is a sure way to create un-growth, poverty and destitution.

Another Labour Recession

  • Monthly GDP is estimated to have fallen by 0.1%, following a fall of 0.1% in September 2025 and no growth in August 2025.
  • Services fell by 0.3% and construction fell by 0.6%.
  • Production output fell by 0.5%, largely because of a fall in the manufacture of motor vehicles, trailers and semi-trailers in this period; this follows a fall of 0.5% in the three months to September 2025.

Laffer Curve?

The imaginary Black Holes we lied about to create an excuse to raise your taxes to the highest levels ever seen in the history of the country are testament to how one person’s lunatic actions can ruin an economy in record time.

My multiple budgets of doom have doomed you all to poverty, so now you have to work harder and for longer hours for nothing.

Now that all the wealthy have left the country due to my policies, it is up to “working people” to shoulder the entire burden.

Have a nice day. I leave you with the words of Vladimir Lenin: “The way to crush the bourgeoisie is to grind them between the millstones of taxation and inflation.”

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