Reeves Announces Another Glorious 0.1% Ungrowth in the Economy

GRIMSBY - England - Wonderful news as Commissar Reeves proudly announces another 0.1% ungrowth in the economy.

Comrades, my policies of heavy taxation upon taxation has worked wonders on the ungrowth of the economy of the People’s Republic of Soviet Britain. By punishing any form of wealth creation, aspiration, and vile capitalist behaviour, the economy has shrunk again for the second consecutive month.

Ignore the Laffer Curve

This contraction is not enough though comrades, I don’t just want the PRSB to plunge into mild recession, I want there to be a Great Depression.

Taxes kill the economy, destroy jobs, destroy businesses and destroy growth. Isn’t that a beautiful soviet thing?

The way to crush the bourgeoisie is to grind them between the millstones of taxation and inflation.

But, Comrades, don’t worry, if you are a train driver, union boss, council boss, Big State apparatchik, NHS boss or high party member your salaries and pensions have risen thanks to the Labour Party and my policies.

More taxes upon taxes are still coming

We are now thinking of introducing a Wealth Tax to completely eviscerate and soak the vile rich scum who worked hard their entire lives to accumulate wealth.

Council tax is the new Poll Tax, as some councils are increasing it as much as 25%.

The People’s Republic of Soviet Britain, has already caused many of the wealthy to flee, but there are still some who have refused to leave. This is good, we will rob these rich chumps of every last penny so we can redistribute their wealth via collectivist communist techniques funnelling their wealth to the ever-growing welfare system and fake asylum seekers.

INGSOC NOTICE 1-1-11-1-111-1-0

JULIE GULLPIT, 34, OF STARMER PARADE, HAS BEEN AWARDED 0.04 GRAMS INCREASE IN SALT AND GIVEN 14 GRAINS OF RICE. SHE REPORTED HER FOUR CHILDREN AGED 3-14, HER HUSBAND, AND HER DOG, BOODLE FOR SCREAMING IN TERROR AND CRYING WHEN ANOTHER HUGE TAX DEMAND LETTER DROPPED THROUGH THEIR LETTERBOX LAST TUESDAY. THEY WERE TAKEN AWAY IN THE EARLY HOURS OF WEDNESDAY MORNING AND LIQUIDATED. REMEMBER COMRADES, LOOK, LISTEN, REPORT!

 

Do you value freedom?

SUPPORT THE DAILY SQUIB We fight for freedom, justice, satire and coffee. DUE TO THE NATURE OF OUR JUVENALIAN SATIRE WE CAN ONLY SURVIVE BY DONATIONS. PLEASE CONSIDER DONATING. THANK YOU.
Disqus Comments Loading...
Share
Published by

Recent Posts

Comrade Starmer is No Friend of Meddling Capitalist Enemy the USA

GRIMSDALE - England - Comrade Starmer speaks about the enemy of the People's Republic of…

22 hours ago

Trump Issues “Ultimate Bro-Mance Pardon” to Putin, Claims Ukraine Invasion Was Just “Borrowing Crimea for a Home Renovation”

MAR-A-LAGO - USA - President Donald Trump has issued a pardon to Vladimir Putin in…

1 day ago

New Analysis Predicts the Green Economy Will Exceed $7 Trillion Annually by 2030

GENEVA - Switzerland - A newly released report by the World Economic Forum reveals that…

3 days ago

“An OBR official who revealed the lies told by Reeves and Starmer has been liquidated”

LONDON - England - The head of the OBR has been liquidated and processed into…

3 days ago

A Day in the Life of a Woman in Labour’s Benefits Britain

ESSEX - England - Thanks to Labour's budget, taxpayers will foot the bill for more…

4 days ago

GameZone Casino Popularity Grows Across Online Communities

MANILA - Philippines - GameZone Casino is growing in popularity across many online communities as…

4 days ago

This website uses cookies.