Comrades, the Kulak Farmers are Revolting!

Comrades, commissars, Labour Party hierarchy, Bolsheviks, apparatchiks, Big State civil servants, Big State council bosses, train drivers, Marxist union bosses, NHS managers, Big State BBC propaganda officers, and the rest of the scum proletariat.

Commissar Reeves has revealed that the despised landed gentry kulak farmers are revolting. Reports are coming in that a number of kulak farmers are refusing to load milling wheat out of stores for the next two weeks.

URGENT COMMUNIQUÉ FROM COMMISSAR REEVES

“Comrades, due to my wonderful “growth” policies of heavy-handed and punishing taxation, it seems that some of the population are now revolting. Personally, I always thought the rest of you pathetic underlings were revolting, but that’s neither her nor there.

“Under these circumstances, I am proud to announce that there will be no bread or flour available in the shops. The People’s Republic of Soviet Britain is modelled on Soviet era Russia, so I can safely say that there will be not much change, except instead of queuing for hours to receive a tiny stale mouldy loaf, you will now queue for hours to get nothing.

“You can have your cabbage soup with no stale, mouldy bread for a while during the kulak farmers’ strike, and don’t forget, we will have available some lovely piping hot cabbage hot cross buns.

“I have already despatched our trusty Stasi agents and police along with the bulldozers to the rural areas to discipline the kulaks, and believe you me they will be disciplined. The Big State will seize any last remaining vestiges of capitalist filth left. I am NEVER wrong!”

INGSOC NOTICE 083540-08883-34019378233-A123-91119283838292920-0

GERALD PUMPKNUCKLE, 23, OF 104 JOSEFSTALIN ROAD, CRICKLEWOOD, SECTOR 12, ENGLAND, WAS TODAY AWARDED 0.02 GRAMS OF EXTRA FLOUR RATIONS FOR REPORTING HIS GRANDMOTHER, GRANDFATHER, BROTHER, SISTER, LOCAL BAKER AND PET TORTOISE HUGO FOR TUTTING DISAPPROVINGLY DURING A BROADCAST FROM COMMISSAR REEVES ABOUT THE BIG STATE INCREASE IN ALL BIG STATE TAXES FOR PROLES TO BE ENACTED NEXT WEEK. THE TREACHEROUS TRAITORS TO THE BIG STATE WERE TAKEN AWAY THIS MORNING AT 3AM. THEY WILL BE LIQUIDATED AND RECYCLED FOR SUSTAINABLE COMMISSAR MILIBAND NET ZERO PURPOSES! THE SPECIAL NET ZERO KOOL-AID PRODUCED FROM THE LIQUIDATION WILL BE AVAILABLE IN THE SHOPS SOON. REMEMBER COMRADES, LOOK, LISTEN, REPORT!